▶ Your Answer : There is no doubt that modern technology has been placed in majority of work places. This has altered many things and helps people to carry out their duties more comfortably, but possible drawbacks due to too much dependence on it could be suggested. Modern technology has have been developed since mobile phones, the internet and so were introduced to us, and those things have completely revolutionized work life. Firstly, for instance, these days, people can email to everybody with their smart phones. They do not have to write letters with hands and not walk into post offices, thereby saving time immensely. Secondly, video conferences have has become possible, and those qualities of sound, microphones, and display are surprisingly improved, and workers therefore, can connect with workers in other countries without travelling going by planes. Finally, technology allows people to work at home, and they might be able to contribute to their companies whenever needed so it is also to saves time and money. However, considerable problems caused by too much reliance on them occurred. While work life becomes more convenient, people tend to spend work hours sitting at desks, which they may have a detrimental influence on their health such as obesity. Virtually, many jobs have been replaced with machines due to the enhancement of the technology, which means people can see/have less opportunities to be hired than before, and this problem is one of the most serious setbacks in our society. Furthermore, it is thought that offices may disappear in the future, and the comfort gained by modern technology does not seem to outweigh the actual losses gone through. In conclusion, although our work environment has been totally changed, corresponding drawbacks arise considerably.
Score: 7.5 Comment: 두 질문을 잘 답해주셨습니다. 하지만 문법에 조금 틀리시고 계십니다. Plurality/전치사 사용/punctuation/에 주의 해주시기를 바랍니다. 그 부분들은 글 안에 있는 수정을 봐주시면 될 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |