The bar chart illustrates the exporting
profits in one nation categorizing five types of industry, including petroleum
products, engineered goods, gems and jewellery, agricultural products and
textiles (이런 거 나열하는 것은 시간 낭비+분량 채우기에 불과합니다. 더군다나 현재 글이 안 그래도 다소 긴 편이고요.)in 2015 and 2016. The table represents how much the percentages changes in the respective categories in 2016 compared to earning in 2015.
Overall, there are three groups the industries can be divided into three groups. The first
group has the highest profits during the period shown in the bar chart, which
are petroleum products and engineered goods. The second group has the lowest in earning, which are agricultural product and textile. Finally, the last group includes
gems and jewellery that is the only industry that shows only show a decline in the profits.
In the first group, the amount of profits
in petroleum types is higher than the other in 2015, with 60 billion dollars
and 56 billion dollars (수치가 정확하게 떨어지지 않을 경우, 임의로 지금처럼 숫자를 정하지 마시고, 대략 얼마~와 같이 작성해주세요.) respectively. However, in 2016, due to the increase of increasing at
8.5 % of earning, the engineered goods is shown to be show the most prospective category in
2016. On the other hand, the figure of petroleum products increased by just 3%.
In the second group, agricultural products do not show a big change in do not change at the profits. On the other hand, the value in textiles soared
from 26 billion dollars up to 31 billion dollars in 2016, which is the biggest increase in percentage and dollars is the most
increasing percentages in the nation, even if it has the lowest amount of
money ranging from 25 billion dollars to 31 billion dollars.
In the third group, the gems and jewellery
don’t (줄임말 사용은 지양해주셔야 합니다.) show any dramatic changes during the time shown in the bar chart.
However, it is the only department that the profits slightly declined from 42
billion dollars to 41 billion dollars.
총평: (7/7/7/5) 6.5
내용 분석을 타 수험생과는 다른 방식으로 접근해주셨네요~구성 자체는 잘 되어서 이쪽에서 점수를 벌어갈 수 있겠으나, 표현상 매끄럽지 못한 부분들이 꽤 많은 편이므로 주의해주셔야 합니다.
task 1의 경우, 수험생들이 많이 참고하는 해커스나 기타 모 블로그들에서 검증된 모범답안을 읽어보시고, 해당 답안에서 수치 표현을 어떻게 다양하게 하는지를 분석해보시고 그것을 내 것으로 만드는 것도 도움이 될 겁니다. 단, 절대로 절대로 절대로 해당 문장을 쌩 암기하려고 달려들어서는 안 되고요. 그건 정말 최악의 공부방법이 됩니다. 수고하셨습니다 :)