The given graph compares the changes in the
number of cars per household in the European nation between 1971 to 2001.
Overall,
it is clear that people tend to achieve cars with increases in the percentages
for one and two or more car ownership according to the given data.
Looking
at the graph in more detail, the percentage for households that who owned only one
car was 35 percent in 1971. However, in 1991, the rate for one car remarkably grew to about 47 percent which was the highest point and slightly dropped
in 2001 to 43 percent approximately. In contrast, the figure for household who
have two or more cars showed an opposed trend of those for one car. Just over
15 percent of household had two or more cars in 1971 and the percentage rose to
27 percent in 2010 which was the same rate with the figure in 1981.
Meanwhile,
the percentage of household who do not possess any car had gradually declined
from just over 45 percent in 1971 to under one third (여기도 이전 글과 비슷한 맥락으로 보시면 됩니다. 그냥 3분의 1이라고만 적으면 45%의 3분의 1인지, 전체 100%의 3분의 1인이 파악이 전혀 되지 않으니까 꼭 명시해주셔야 해요.) approximately in 2001.
총평: (7/7/6/6) 6.5
다행히도 이전 글의 문법은 일시적인 현상이었네요. 위의 one third 정도에만 주의해주시면 되겠습니다. 하지만, 정확성과는 별개의 얘기로 다양성의 측면에서는 어휘/문법 모두 약간은 부족합니다. 특히 문법이 그렇고요. 한국 수험생들이 특히나 the ~~ of ~~ 구조를 많이 사용하는 경향이 있는데, 절대로 이쪽에 갇히지 않도록 패러프레이징을 가능한 활발하게 해주세요! 수고하셨습니다 :)