Q. Some people believe that it is best to
accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.
Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both
views and give your own opinion.
Recently, most people live with at least on worry almost people live with each
worry. Some people assert that approving a bad situation like unacceptable
employment or lack of funds is the best way while, others argue trying and
developing such cases is more effective. I wholeheartedly agree with the latter
stand. In the following fallowing essay, both views will be discussed before a conclusion
is reached with my opinion.
One the one hand, those who claim that it
is the finest method to accept a bad circumstance do so for several reasons.
Proponents of this argument insist that no changes is the best measure to
maintain certain situations. In other words, even if people try to tackled a
problem, if things do not change, people will get a bigger sense of loss.
Another reason is that sometimes a terrible may be the supreme state. Given
these points, some people hold the view that admitting poor conditions is the
pick solution. (파란색 문장들의 경우도 사실 위에서 했던 말이라 그냥 의미없이 분량 채우는 것에 지나지 않습니다. 단 7점 이상 필요하신 경우에나 신경써주시면 되고요.)
My opinion, however, is that making effort
to upgrade worse situations such as dissatisfied with job or shortage of money.
Perhaps the most compelling reasons that alterations almost allow someone to
experience new challenges. To exemplify, without the desire of improvement, we
could not faced with fresh conditions (이 부분의 경우 문법 오류가 있는 건 맞는데, 어떤 의미를 의도하셨는지 몰라서 수정해드리지 못했네요~의도하신 의미에 대해 댓글 주시면 확인하고 수정해드리겠습니다.). Also, some research performed by some
experts has revealed that positive growth provides more advantages outweigh
the disadvantages. (이런 아무 근거 없는 분량 채우기 진짜 문장은 웬만하면 쓰지 마세요~) In light of the above, I find these are more persuasive.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that both
views have equal strength. However, I fully support the view that enhancing any
conditions which even lead to bad outcomes is the best method to address the
problem for the reasons discussed above.
총평: (6/7/7/6) 6.5
이제 다섯 개의 글이 마무리되었는데, 이전에도 말씀드렸듯이 템플릿 의존이 큰 글들이며, 문법+어휘 문제가 많지는 않았기 때문에 제가 봐드릴 수 있는 사항은 거의 없었습니다. 여하튼 im님께서 필요하신 점수에 따라 제 말은 적절히 잘 걸러들으시고, task 1은 꼭 챙겨주세요! task 2에서 6.5점 받는다고 총점 6.5가 보장되는 건 절대 아닙니다. 더군다나 Task 1은 템플릿으로 해결되지도 않고요.
수고하셨습니다 :)