Genetic engineering is an important issue in society today.
Some people think that it will improve people’s lives in many ways.
Others feel that it may be a threat to life on earth. Discuss both these
views and give your own opinion.
It is often said that genetic engineering
is an essential issue to discuss about the worth. There are several opinions because
the issue has both positive and negative effects on the society. Personally, (이런 표현의 추가를 통해 앞과 더 매끄럽게 이을 필요가 있습니다.) I believe that
the advantages of genetic engineering are outweigh the drawbacks.
By developing genetic engineering, many
people are would be able to live more higher quality of lives. From a medical
perspective, people can even cure diseases such as cancers, or disorder because
there are treatments researched by genetical method. As for the food
productivity, there are significant increases in the world. Corn would be the
best example of this issue. Corn has been growing up in harsh conditions due to
developments in the genetic engineering. (이 문장은 흐름상 문제가 있는 것 같은데 의도하신 바에 대해 댓글 한번 주시면 확인하고 필요시 수정해드리겠습니다.) This leads to alleviate the food shortage
in developing countries. Thus, I would argue that genetic engineering should provide
better options to live for people.
On the other hand, genetic engineering has
also drawbacks which are potential harm on earth (여기에 대해서는 링크를 하나 넣어드리겠습니다.) and people. The essential problem
of this issue is the worth of human and this means that clone may threat to
human ethic. Other significant problem is the potential harm for human and environment.
Genetic engineering is still researching and testing the undiscovered
disadvantage.
In conclusion, although genetic engineering
has the environmental and ethical issue, I believe that the advantage of engineering
surpasses the drawbacks. (핵심은 '왜' 내가 장점보다 단점이 더 많은지를 서술하는 것입니다. 항상 내 의견에 대한 근거 부여가 중요해요~)
장점 :
의료 부분: 유전자공학 연구를 통해 많은 질병들을 치료할 수 있게 됨
식량 생산량 : 생산량 증가-> 식량난 부족 해결
단점 :
인간 윤리 문제 (예시) 복제 인간
환경에 대한 잠재적 위험
결론 :
단점이 있지만, 장점이 더 많음
으로 글을 작성하였습니다. 피드백 부탁드립니다.
목표점수 : 6.5
현재 점수 : 5.5~6.0
시험 날짜 : 5월 말
총평: (6/6/6/6) 6.0 discuss both 에서 결론을 작성할 때, 단순히 내 의견을 작성하고 넘기는 것에 끝나지 않고, 웬만하면 그 의견에 대한 구체적인 근거를, 한 줄 정도라도 부여할 수 있게 신경써주세요!
수고하셨습니다 :)
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