▶ Your Answer :
There is an opinion that the zoo has no use
in our society. However, that opinion is recklessly underestimating the
positive and useful function of zoos. In this essay, I will review the reason
why the zoo of our society is useful.
Firstly, by maintaining a zoo, we can
preserve many a lot of animals that are in front of extinction. There are many
reasons to their extinction. However, we can provide nice and secure
circumstances to those animals in need. Furthermore, we can provide the animals
in danger a great medical care for their health or breeding technology to
preserve those species. All of these this cares can be done in the zoo without any
natural danger protected by our technology.
Secondly, we can conduct precious research. Many A lot of modern technologies in the present were from the animals. Fluidic design
of vehicles was from the dolphins, and insulin we use is from the pigs. Like these
examples, we can get new technologies from the research conducted based on the
hint from animals. And a zoo is the perfect place for providing safe and secure
research base compared to wild life.
Lastly, even though we are keeping animals
from freedom, without zoos, there is no place for the children to learn about
them in real life. Strong experience in zoos has a high possibility of making nature
friendly humans. And the children who learned the co-existence with animals at the zoo will give their voices to preserve the animals in danger when they grow up.
Thus, the zoo as an educational field is very important in the long term plan.
In conclusion, in modern society we can
find persuasive reasons why we should maintain the zoo. Zoo is useful to
preserve the animals, to develop new technologies, and to next generations of
our future.
Score: 7 Comment: Persuasive하게 잘 서술 해주셨습니다. 문법상 'a lot of' 이라는 표현은 informal한 표현입니다. 또한 article 사용에 주로 틀리시고 계십니다. 한국어 와는 달리 미국은 일반적인 명사를 이야기할때는 plural form을 씁니다. 그 외에는 더 다양한 sentence structure을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다.
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