Task 2 (05 Two-part question 유형) - 해커스 정규교재 p.
315 문제
Nowadays, many governments budget money for
the sports industry. Why do you think governments are funding sports so
heavily? Do you think this is an appropriate investment?
It is
commonly found that many governments spend a large amount of budget for the
sports industry these days. This can lead to globally improving the image of
country by organizing sports events. Also, it can result in making people’s
health condition better. At these points, I believe that governments should keep
trying to strengthen the sports industry. as followings.
Above
all, many governments hope that sports events could improve the country’s image
around the world. Through the successful sports industry, the nation can
benefit not only by gaining a world-famous image but also economic growth. For example, the 2002
World Cup in Korea, it made (ielts2020님 실력이면 이것보다 더 나은 표현을 사용하실 수 있습니다.) a lot of advantages of Korea’s image in the globe, (이 상황, 즉 월드컵이 대한민국 이미지 개선에 어떠한 이유로, 어떤 식으로 도움이 됐는지를 구체적인 사례를 들을 수 있어야합니다. 그렇지 않을 경우 이전 글과 마찬가지로 그저 고유명사만 갖다붙인채로 그대로 반복하는 것에 지나지 않고요.) resulting in mounting trade with neighboring countries and increasing tourists
from them.
Furthermore,
there are significant reasons why I strongly agree that governments’ investment
for the sports have an overall positive impact on people’s well-being lives. It
can help people improve their health condition as well as entertain them. In
modern society, people have less time to take care of their healthy lives due
to the busy working schedule. Luckily, it would be possible to improve
work-life balance if people easily accessed to the sports which is funded by
the governments. In fact, recent research has shown that Japanese people have
less health disorders and stress in the workforce compared to the neighboring
countries like Korea and China. This is due to the fact that people living in
Japan have much more chances to enjoy sports as the Japanese government actively
budgets money for the sports industry.
All
things considered above, it is clear that governments should invest more
funding for the sports industry as it can lead to better image of the country (이건 원인 쪽으로 빼주셔야합니다.) and healthy lives.
1. 목표점수: 7.0
2. 시험예정일: 2월 말경 (첫 시험)
3. 작성시간: 35분 (도움 없이)
4. 단어수: 287
연휴 때 밀린 것과 함께 하나 더 올립니다. 감사합니다. : )
총평: (6/6/7/7) 6.5
마찬가지로 예시/연구 등의 구성에서 어려움을 겪으시는 편이라 위에 표시해드린 내용을 참고해보시면 되겠습니다. 이 글 밑의 초코파우치님 글을 참고해보시면 예시를 어떻게 써야할지 대략 감을 잡으실 수 있을 건데, 만약 그걸 읽고도 현재 글이랑 무슨 차이가 있는지 모르겠다면 (해당 글은 근거에 대해 예시를 통해 더 구체적으로 들어가고 있고, 현재 글은 고유명사만 붙여서 같은 말을 반복하고 있습니다.), 그냥 예시는 포기하고 주장+근거로만 쭉 이어주시는 것도 괜찮습니다. 이 경우 dhll님 글들 중 아무거나 읽어보시면 되겠고요.
또한 현재의 결론은 ~에 투자하는 원인은 무엇이고, 이는 ~~이기 때문에 긍정적이다. 쪽으로 작성되어야합니다. 수고하셨습니다 :)