Some people believe that there will be a reduction in air travel in the future. Do you think that this trend is a positive or negative development?
Because of the development of transportation, some people argue that the number of people using airplanes to travel to other areas would decrease in the future. I believe this development is negative side.
To begin with, there are several disadvantages when air travel would show a reduction in the future. First and foremost, people would suffer from various issues. Many people prefer to spend as short time as possible in travel, time with convenient seats and services. Using airplane is the easiest way to reduce the time. This is because, it is commonly seen traffic jam in most of road, sickness when they take a boat and some seat problems in trains or subways. Compared to these transportation, there is no doubt that a plane is it is the most effective the mean of traffic.
Secondly, tourism industry would decline (air travel 이 감소했을 때~를 상기시켜주시면 됩니다.). These days, this industry accounts for a quite large part of economic growth in majority of countries like earning foreign currency which is the major source of import. Also, through foreign travelers who use airplanes, a lot of facilities associated with it such as airports, duty free shops, travel agencies and also employers who are professions in the fields can make more money. However, if air travels reduce in the future, the unemployment rate related with that would increase and the facilities would gradually disappear.
In conclusion, in my opinion, this trend (이게 뭔지를 다시 밝혀주시면 돼요.) is a negative development because people would have trouble about the punctuality, inconvenience and the regression of tourism industry when air travels would be reduced in the future.
총평: (7/7/7/6) 7.0
크게 문제는 없었는데, 대신 제가 본론2, 결론에서 말씀드린 핵심에 대한 상기는 글쓰기에 있어 가장 중요한 사항 중 하나이므로 반드시 체크해주세요! 수고하셨습니다 :)
번호 | 제목 | 글쓴이 | 조회수 | 날짜 |
---|---|---|---|---|
42466 | [Task2] 첨삭부탁드립니다. | rlooko | 155 | 2021.04.11 |
42465 | [첨삭] 줄임말은 풀어써주셔야 합니다 :) | Eclipse_CS | 155 | 2021.04.14 |
42464 | [Task2] 첨삭부탁드립니다. | rlooko | 156 | 2021.04.11 |
42463 | [첨삭] 자잘한 오류를 수정해주세요 :) [2] | Eclipse_CS | 161 | 2021.04.14 |
42462 | [Task1] 첨삭 부탁드립니다 :) 항상 감사해요 | orange | 120 | 2021.04.11 |
42461 | [첨삭] 서론을 넣어주세요 :) | Eclipse_CS | 169 | 2021.04.14 |
42460 | [Task1] 첨삭 부탁드립니다~ 미리 감사드려요~^^ | 고고시원 | 144 | 2021.04.11 |
42459 | [첨삭] Overview를 수정해주세요 :) | Eclipse_CS | 120 | 2021.04.14 |
42458 | [Task2] 첨삭 부탁드립니다~ 미리 감사드려요~^^ | 고고시원 | 159 | 2021.04.11 |
42457 | [첨삭] 자잘한 부분만 수정해주시면 됩니다 :) | Eclipse_CS | 157 | 2021.04.14 |
42456 | [Task2] 첨삭 부탁드려용!! | 눈누냔나 | 154 | 2021.04.11 |
42455 | [첨삭] 자잘한 오류를 수정해주세요 :) | Eclipse_CS | 115 | 2021.04.14 |
42454 | [Task1] TASK1 첨삭 부탁드립니다!! | 4월 | 137 | 2021.04.11 |
42453 | [첨삭] 다양한 문장을 활용해주세요 :) | Eclipse_CS | 123 | 2021.04.14 |
42452 | [Task1] 첨삭요청합니다~ | 으악새으악새 | 133 | 2021.04.11 |
42451 | [첨삭] 수학 계산은 하실 필요 없습니다 :) [2] | Eclipse_CS | 129 | 2021.04.14 |
42450 | [첨삭] Task 2 첨삭 부탁드립니다^^ | 레드자몽 | 101 | 2021.04.11 |
42449 | [첨삭] 시간을 간추려주세요 :) | Eclipse_CS | 106 | 2021.04.14 |
42448 | [Task2] 첨삭부탁드립니다. | rlooko | 138 | 2021.04.10 |
42447 | [첨삭] 본론1을 수정해주세요 :) [1] | Eclipse_CS | 121 | 2021.04.14 |
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