▶ Your Answer : Nowadays, some governments have occasionally regulated occasionally the expression of the artists thoughts of artists. However, most artists the oppressed people say that they should be guaranteed the personal expression of freedom freedom of personal expression from the government. I agree with their argument and will describe my opinion with several grounds.
In the first place, the government`s interfering to artists could make them to think narrowly the artistic performers' ideas can be narrowed by the restriction. To make a better masterpiece, the artists need to think variously and massively. For example, if one public force>>?? regulates them>>?? creating something, the artists will be stuck at in fixed notion. It will be very harmful to make something new. Besides, it will also cause that they might make shoddy products because they cannot concentrate on their working process >> Besides 역시 게다가 라는 뜻으로 새로운 주장을 제시하는 부사입니다 지워주세요.
In the second place, expression of freedom >> the freedom of expression is one of people`s human rights nowadays. It is because most people are living in the country which is operated by democratic, political methods. The government should ensure the important human rights to each people >> person 예시가 없습니다. Furthermore, the citizen also can claim their rights which can express freely to government as well. In this aspect, the government should not invade the artists` private rights >> 역시 게다가 라는 문장은 없애주세요.
In conclusion, for the advent of a lot of masterpieces from the artists, the government should not interrupt their working. Moreover, >> 결론에서도 역시 moreover 는 쓰면 안 됩니다 thinking and expressing >> and 를 기준으로 앞뒤 형태가 같아야합니다 freely is individual human rights. Thus, the government should not disrupt them and need to encourage the artists to do whatever they want.
각각 본문마다 추가적인 얘기에서 오류가 있습니다 moreover 나 besides 등의 의견을 추가로 나타내는 문장을 지양해주시길 바랍니다 전 글이랑 지적 사항은 비슷하게 있으니 참고해주시길 바랍니다 250자가 안 차서 감점 드립니다
Task Achievement - 4 Coherence and Cohesion - 5 Lexical Resource - 6 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5
5.0 예상합니다 |