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> 2014-02-25 15:36:15, '' 님이 쓰신 글입니다. ↓
■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. You response will be judge on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words. ■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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▶ Topic : Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
What other measurs do you think mihgt be effective? | |
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▶ Your Answer :
In the recent times, it which environmental pollutions and traffic jam are occurs in the world. (최근 환경오염과 교통체증 문제가 발생되고 있다 전세계에서)>> 우선 다른 의견을 지지하는 쪽을 말하고 나서 other people을 제시해야 상대적인 관점이 보이며 더욱 좋습니다 Other people insist that growing the price of gasoline is best method. I completely disagree with what other people mentioned it.
There be might be no doubt about that the rising the price of petrol is a good way. It is because, if the gasoline price is increasing, driving of cars will be more difficulty>> 가솔린의 가격 상승이 차의 운전을 어렵게 하진 않습니다 차를 유지하기가 어렵게 되는거죠 it will be hard to maintain cars 가 더 적절하겠네요. So so also but and or 는 문두에 쓰지 않습니다 many people who have a private car had might decrease to car drive the number of times they drive their own vehicles. Therefore, the frequency of driving of automobiles has dropped, traffic jam and environmental pollution should be dip. (그러므로 자동차의 운행이 줄어듦에 따라, 교통체증과 환경오염은 감소될 것이다) >> according to the decreasing times of driving cars, traffic jam and environmental pollution would fall as well.
However, I believe that an upward trend on the price of oil does not perfectly solved its problems perfectly. If the oil price rised, some people should buy the imitated petrol. so >> 문장은 if 절과 주절이면 충분합니다 새로운 문장을 시작해주세요 Thus, it is more increasing leads more pollution than before. to pollute than before. In addition, growing traffic should happen the period of time>> 어떤 기간을 의미하는지 모르겠네요. For example, the traffic rises during rush hour. Therefore, traffic jam is not related to the increasing the price of gasoline. Furthermore, the growing the price of oil should put the pressure of people who related to job of car>> 무슨 의미인줄 알겠지만 같은 한국인이라서 의미 파악이 되는겁니다 외국인에게 보여주면 알아차리지 못할 작문이에요 >> the high price of oil could put much pressure on people who has a transport-related job. Therefore, if the rising the price of petrol continues, they will be >> if 절 동사가 현재면 주절의 조동사도 현재가 와야 합니다 difficult to live. There are the some best ways to solve the problems of growing traffic and pollution problems than above mentioned it above.(가장 좋은 방법, 앞서 언급한 제도 보다 환경오염과 교통체증 문제를 해결할 수 있는) The best way is societal system that enforces self a car-free day. It’s >> 축약형은 절대 안 됩니다 It is a system that can decrease to the traffic and environmental pollution problems. This is because driving cars more decreases more than before.
For the reasons mentioned above, I totally disagree with the opinion.
시험을 보시기에 아직 너무 이르신 듯 합니다 주어의 설정과 단복수, 관사를 비롯해 동사의 단복수형, 수동태, 능동태, 형용사의 사용, 작문 모두가 솔직히 말씀드리면 시험을 볼 정도의 때가 아닙니다 현재는 글을 쓰기보다 문법을 배우셔야 합니다 문장 내에서 주어 동사도 완전히 채워지지 않고 부사를 쓰시는 것도 보이고 growing the price 는 growing이 주어입니다 the growing price는 이 자체가 주어이구요 둘의 차이가 있습니다 5일 내에 가장 실력을 올리 방법은 우선 공부를 하시고 다른 분들 글을 보시면서 역시 공부하시는게 좋겠습니다 결론도 너무 짧구요 본론2에선 마지막에 두 줄 정도를 다시 새로운 의견을 제시하는 것 자체도 근거를 충분히 못 들 상황입니다 Task Achievement - 5 Coherence and Cohesion - 4 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 4 4.5 예상합니다
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시험이 5일이 채 남지 않았는데, 기본적인 틀 안에서 몇가지 필수 어휘 집어넣고, 문법적 실수 최소화 하면
시험때 좋은 점수 받을수 있겠죠?
저 뿐만 아니라 다른사람들도 올려서 첨삭할 문제들이 한두개가 아닐텐데, 고생 많으십니다
감사합니다!!