▶ Your Answer :
As the society has become equalized in gender Due to gender equity, obviously, a lot of female workers have got chances of to promotione to in various industries which had occupied with male workers, (comma) such as professors, engineers and et cetera. However, some people argue that this change caused some problems which have not existed in the past, including when it comes to low birth rate and having maternity leave. Even though problems associated with promotion of women in many companies currently exist in our society, I believe females should also have an equal chance to have job opportunities as well as males.
여자들이 과거보다 많은 기회를 가졌다는 Topic이 단지 직업에 한정되어있듯이 서술되어 있습니다.
To begin with, in this society, the gender roll role? apparently exists, <-(no comma) although it has been equalized somehow. It means the marriage and birth can be barrier for their promotion. (?? 어떻게 각자의 역할이 있는 것이 결혼과 출산이 장애가 될 수 있다는 것을 의미합니까?) To illustrate, it is natural for female species to be pregnant and give birth. Consequently, when a woman worker get pregnant, she inevitably has to have a maternity leave and it results their absence of work, which means she might lose the chance to promote in her job. Besides, in terms of gender roll role?, in many countries, females are charging ?? are in charge of? for raising and breeding their baby. It means this not only negatively impacts on their company, but also they get pressure by demand of company when they are working.
Definitely, that is pity not to receive same opportunity. In order to easey this unfair problems regarding to discrimination about towards females, I believe the best way is that the authorities, (comma) such as government should legislate laws to protect female workers` rights. In addition, campaign is feasible, helping people should consider about means of gender roll role? in this modern era.
SCORE: 5
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