▶ Your Answer :
Some people contend that professional athletes can be beneficial
role models for young generation and that young people they can learn from their
sportsmanship. However, from my perspective, I disagree with this
contention.
Admittedly, there are various people who were are famous for their
sports field. As By watching them, children can learn from a valuable
lesson such as sports spirits. For example, famous ice skater in
Korea named Yuna Kim Kim Yeon A<(이름은 다 대문자로 써주셔야합니다), got is an Olympic champion representative mentor
among for young people. She demonstrates to people that the phrase "no pain no gain" and
many young people look up to her as a role model.
Despite the above, I believe that professional athletes are not
always good models. Once, they get famous by making good scores or
winning plays, their life can be completely changed. The fame guides
athletes to have financial benefits and social attention through mass
media. Compared with other average people, the athletes can could have
reliable life more conveniently and easily. In this way, young people
want to get famous without hard endeavors since they did not learn from
the athletes' failure.
On top of this, some athletes commit bad behaviors at games such as
drug problems or breaking the rules during a game or competition playing sport. For
example, some sports games like soccer, some have players that used violence to
win against rivals. Those things can be sendt the a wrong message to
young people.
In the final analysis, athletes can be fabulous role models for
young people, but in my opinion, athletes should not be considered as role models
unless they focus on the positive aspects of playing sports.
Score: 5.5 Comment: 글쓴이의 내용은 좋은나 문법, 단어, 어순이 많이 틀리십니다. 그렇기 때문에 글을 읽거나 이해하기에 조금의 헷갈림이있습니다. 정확한 단어를 쓰셔야합니다. 같은 아니면 비슷한 발음 일지라도 의미에는 큰 차이가 있습니다. 단어랑 표현공부에 더 신경쓰시면 좋을 것 같습니다. Introduction 도 조금더 improve하셔야하는 부분입니다.
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