▶ Your Answer : There are several advantages and disadvantages of eating out at a restaurant. This essay will discuss those two aspects of eating out at a restaurant and discuss about how eating out can help people. When people eat at a restaurant, they can enjoy the meal time being with friends, or family or acquaintances. People do not have to prepare the meals and spend the hours of cleaning afterwards like when they invite their friends at home. Eating out would give more relaxation for people from stresses for cooking the meal everyday. The reason for people to choose to eat at a restaurant, is that they may want to enjoy the restaurant's environment, atmosphere, services and music. However, it cannot be denied that all the entertainment services are the fees. Even though eating at a restaurant can provide a nice memory and feeling, people still have to pay for their time and services. Sometimes, the restaurant's meals are over-priced for the quality of foods. Many of restaurants would not be that nutritious compared cooking at home. Even though people have to pay the fees for the meals, those that fees can be considered as an opportunity cost for time cooking at home. People can be relaxed and socialise with other people at a restaurant. At the restaurant, people could engage business interactions with their colleagues which could be related to future career opportunities. In conclusion, in compared to the home-made cooking, the restaurant foods are expensive and the quality is bad. Even that, the restaurant foods can provide the opportunity costs for people. Having an extra time can be spent to on socialise with people which can provide a personal growth.
Score: 6.5 Comment: 장단점이 둘다 있다 라고 해주시기 보다는 주제 대해 partially agree한다고 해주시면 더 좋을 것 같습니다. 또한 body 내용을 보면은 글쓴이는 단점도 있다고 생각하시지만 데체적으로 agree를 하는 것 같습니다. 서술해주신 단점에 대해서 그 내용을 반박을 해주셨기 때문입니다. 문법상 크게 문제가 되는 곳은 없어 보입니다. 다만 전체적으로 coherence가 부족합니다. 그렇기 때문에 내용 연결성도 조금 떨어집니다. Cohesive devices를 조금 더 활용을 하셔서 coherence에 신경을 써주시기를 바랍니다. 그 외에는 글 안에 있는 수정을 봐주시면 될 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |