▶ Your Answer :
The given bar chart illustrates the
measurement of gross domestic product with in two different sections of in the UK over a 8-years period between 1992 and 2000.
In brief, what stands out from the chart is
that the Service industry had a gradually upward trend, while the It industry saw a slight
fluctuation and then it was the stood at the top percentages of GDP by the end of the period.
In more detail, the all proportions of GDP
from the It industry was significantly higher than the outcomes of the Service industry. <(overall 내용 처럼 들립니다) The IT sections was possessed with around 6.1 percent of GDP, compared to the Services industry with 4 percent in 1992. In the sequencing years, the IT and Services industry were both increased up to 8 percent and 6.1 percent
respectively. However, IT industry was slightly went down to just 7.9 percent,
whereas the service industry was continually grew grown up to with approximately 6.3
percent in 1996.
In the following year, the massive
percentages of GDP from IT industry was surged to with 12 percent and then it was peaked to about 15% picked a peak with over 14.1 percent in 2000. Meanwhile, service industry was also
raised rose until 2000 in which it was reached 8 percent of GDP.
Score: 6 Comment: 그래프를 잘 이해하신 것 같습니다. 다만 전체적으로 내용 정리가 더 필요합니다. Summarize를 조금 더 해주시고 문법에 조금 더 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. IT Industry 와 Service Industry를 써주실때 써주시는 방법이 consistent하면 더 좋을 것 같습니다. 어떨 때는 대문자로 써주시고 어떨때는 소문자로 써주십니다. 문법상 전치시라 활용/ 수동태-능동태 활용/capitalization/ correct word form/에 틀리시고 계십니다. 그 외에는 글 안에 있는 수정이나 코멘트를 봐주시면 될 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |