The given bar charts demonstrate what UK graduate and postgraduate students work did for except for full-time work after they graduated in 2008, The United Kingdom. Overall, most of both students choose chose (여기는 일단 문법만 바꿔드리면 이렇게 되는데, 내용상 앞의 most of 가 문제되는 상황입니다. 이에 대해서는 밑에서 링크를 하나 넣어드릴게요.) to remain at school for further study, and the lowest number of students did least of students work as a volunteer.
Speaking of the students who graduated college, the most number of students remained school to study futher, its number was 29,665. 17,735 had a part-time job after graduation, and the similar number of students were unemployed, as 16,235. Only 3,500 students did valunteer for work.
Moving to postgraduate students, 2,725 students chose choose further study, showing the highest number and it was the most dicision that students did. Working as part-time worker rate The rate of those who worked part time increased compared to graduate students, the number of them was 2,535, and most closest to further study in other units. 1,625 students could not get a job, and 345 students made their mind to work as volunteer.
147자, 20분
잘 부탁드립니다
총평: (7/6/6/6) 6.5
나름 다양한 문장들이 쓰여서 저의 경우는 문법에 6점을 드렸는데, 정확도 자체는 아직 약간 떨어지는 편이고, 이에 따라 어떤 채점관은 충분히 문법에서 5점을 줄 수 있을 겁니다. 고로 이에 대해서는 주의해주세요~
most 와 관련해서는 정말 중요한 사항이므로, 밑의 링크를 참고해주시면 되겠습니다. 수고하셨습니다 :)
https://www.gohackers.com/?c=ielts/ielts_info2/ielts_data&type=url&uid=481969undefined