▶ Your Answer :
With the advent of highly advanced
technology, machinery >> machinery는 복수형이 없습니다 is widely used in manufacturing the environment
instead of hand using human workers. Some people claim that hand-made
products are more reliable than products which are made by machines.
However, in my opinion, there will be some advantages by using
machines such as accuracy in fabricating process and saving of time >> the the following statements 라고 하는게 좋겠네요 상세한 내용은 본론에서 쓰시는 편이 좋습니다.
To begin with, machines are precise
and efficient, comparing to humans who naturally make mistakes. To be
specific, robots are programmed by computer, >> 문장 중간에 수식절이 들어가면 콤마로 앞 뒤를 나눠주세요 which means they work in
a regular rate, do not make careless mistakes, and do not stop until
the program prescribes. According to the analysis in test results from
Michigan State University, there were a great amount of mistakes in
scoring tests when professors corrected them by hand. On the
contrary, after activating a computer program to mark, no more
mistakes were accepted come out 정도가 좋을 듯 싶네요 and students were very much satisfied. As this
example shows, machines can more efficiently and accurately take efficiently and accurately care
of tedious >> trivial 이 더 좋겠네요 details.
In addition, machine saves a lot of
time because it can be operated for 24 hours everyday without rest. 너무 길어서 끊어드렸습니다
It is because machine does not have physical limitation of physical fitness. Therefore, in this
contemporary society, people can optimize their valuable time by
using machines such as washing machines, robot vacuum cleaners, and
microwaves. From my personal experience, my mother used to manage her
household for a whole day because only she only had were two hands to take
care of all the chores. However, after that washing machine and robot
vacuum cleaner was invented, machines managed automatically chores automatically.
Eventually she could get >> get 동사는 좋지 않습니다 have gain acquire 등이 좋겠습니다 some time for shopping and enjoying her
hobby as well. Machines saves a lot of time, so people can consume efficiently
their time efficiently.
In conclusion, I do strongly believe
that it is better to do work by machine than by hand.
결론은 2~3줄 쓰시는게 좋습니다 일단 전체적인 글 흐름은 좋았습니다 단어도 다양하게 잘 써주셨고 잘 쓰신 글입니다 부사는 동사 뒤에 위치하는 부분이랑 only의 위치에 따른 뜻의 변화 등 잘 봐주세요 only she had : 오직 그녀만 가지고 있다 she only had : 그녀는 오직 가지고만 있다 she had only : 그녀는 오직 ~를 가지고 있다
Task Achievement - 7 Coherence and Cohesion - 7 Lexical Resource - 6 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 6 6.5 예상합니다
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