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In current society, as crimes have vaired happened and the severity of violence has increased, some people argue that police officers should carry guns have firemarms >> 문제와 같은 단어 사용 자제해주세요 to protect societies and decline the level of violence. . In this regard, I agree with the contention, opinion and this essay >> 스펠링 주의해주세요 will explain my reasons for this. I will back up my argument with some reasons.
To begin with, >> 콤마입니다 there is no doubt that armed police officers carrying guns alleviates the intensity of violent offense strain of occurrence of a violent offense. as well as decreases crime rates. In other words, since guns are deadly weapons, the police force armed with guns would surely deciline and limit surely the motivations of various criminal attempts. On top of that, fundamentally, the limited motivation not only leads criminals to give up their planned crimes or lower the level of violence, but also it prevents further potential criminals from committing crimes. Consequently, gun ownership of police forces ownership of gun for the police should be considered as the one of the greatest ways for lowering crime rates. >> 처음 진행은 괜찮았는데 뒤로 가면서 좀 안 좋게 됐네요 무장한 경찰들은 범죄 발생의 긴장을 완화시킨다. 다시 말해, 그 경찰력은 다양한 범죄 시도의 동기들을 제한하거나 감소시킬 수 있다. 예를들면, 무장한 경찰력에 대해 범인들이 쉽게 범죄를 저지를 생각을 하지 못하고, 그게 범죄율의 저하를 유도 할 수 있다 정도로 쓰면 괜찮을 듯 싶습니다.
Another statement which supports the inclination is Secondly, that a gun is an essential tool for police forces. To elaborate, if police officers are not allowed to crarry guns as their protective equipment, they would not be able to play a role as law enforcement agents an observer of order in society who should protect innocent populace as well as public and private properties. For example, when disarmed police officers without a gun face against some criminals holding a knife or a handgun for bank robbery robbering a bank >> ing 형태의 병렬로 해주세요 or threatening innocent populace to steal financial possessions, there is nothing much what police officers can do in order to break through the difficulties without calling for a support the disarmed cannot confront their violators, which could lead to a severe physical damage.
Upon cautiously looking at the aforementioned statements In conclusion, I have finally reached at a conclusion that carrying guns by police officers is inevitably necessary to secure individuals and societies as well as decrease the level of violence.
논리 부분은 조금만 더 신경쓰시면 본문 틀도 잡힐 듯 싶어서 나아질거라 봅니다 다만 좀 더 다양한 단어가 요구되고 스펠링도 잘 살펴보시길 바랍니다 스펠링 오류가 꽤 많습니다 오타라도 오류이므로 감점 하겠구요 단복수 유념해주시구요 문장 좀 더 다양하게 써보시길 바랍니다
Task Achievement - 7 Coherence and Cohesion - 6 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 6
6.0 예상합니다 |