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Dear my neighbor.
Hello, I am Brandon who lives in your upstairs flat. I was very shocked that The reason why I am writing this letter is about noise from my house. To begin with, I cannot help saying sorry about that you have been suffering suffered >> 현재도 소음을 일으키고 있진 않아 굳이 진행형으로 나타낼 필요가 없단 생각입니다 from the noise we have made. I couldn’t not notice that the noise has been ruining has interrupted your leisure time. >> 마침표 해주시구요 I am really sorry for that and please kindly accept my sincere apology. As you may guessed, I have a child who just turned to went on 3 years old. I think my daughter always makes noise with her toys and sometimes runs around the living room, so that noises might make you stressed.
In fact, I have been hiring a nanny nurse >> nanny는 구어적입니다 until 7:30pm, >> 콤마 빼주세요 as both me and wife my wife and I >> 본인을 뒤에 쓰는게 맞습니다 come back home around 8 pm. However, >> 문두 부사 뒤에 콤마입니다 I think the nanny child minder doesn’t does not keep her duty well, I didn’t did not noticed that before you wrote the letter to me. So >> 문두에 so and or but also 는 쓰지 않습니다 From now on, I decided to replace the caregiver within a week,>> 콤마 빼주세요 unless she makes prevents my daughter from making noise calm during the night time. Therefore, >> 콤마 넣어주세요 it needs a little bit more time, so I wish you to please understand my situation and never hesitate to contact me if you feel annoyed burden again please.
Sincerely yours
Brandon.
아카데믹을 준비한 입장이라 편지 형식의 첨삭은 제대로 못해드리는 점 우선 죄송하게 생각합니다 축약형은 사용하지 않게 고쳐드렸구요 문법도 완전한 문장이 되도록 고쳐드렸습니다
글자수는 약 170자 조금 넘게로 괜찮은 편이구요
Task Achievement - 7 Coherence and Cohesion - 6 Lexical Resource - 6 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5
6.0 예상합니다 |