▶ Your Answer :
The charts
illustrate what UK graduate and postgraduate students chose to do after leaving college in 2008 except for full-time work.
Overall,
in the both charts, most students sought to study further after graduating
college, while the amount of students who did volunteer work is the smallest. On
the first graph, there were slight differences between part-time work and unemployment
as opposed to the minimal difference change between further study and part-time work on
the second graph.
With regards
to the graph of graduates, 29,665 graduate students chose to study further. Likewise,
17,735 students did part-time work, whereas 16,235 graduates were unemployed in
2008. The smallest students sought to do voluntary work (around 3,500).
On
the other hand, the second graph shows that 2,725 postgraduates pursued for further
study in 2008. Similarly, about 2,535 students looked for part-time work. Furthermore,
1,625 postgraduates were unemployed after college and 345 students went to voluntary
work.
Score: 8 Comment: 중요한 정보, comparison 둘다 잘 해주셨습니다. 글자수가 150 조금 안되기는 합니다. 하지만 introduction sentence을 보시다시피 specificity을 조금 더 해주셨다면 문제가 되지는 않습니다. 다만 글자수가 150 미만이라고 reader가 생각하면 패널티가 적용이 될수는 있습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |