▶ Your Answer :
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there is no doubt that government should
have invest more on railways. with regards to this issue, some people may
insist roads are more significant to be living with people in society rather
than railways. however, i agree with this contention as the state needs to use
money to evolve/develop railways as it has positive impacts towards citizens it is true that, railways are the most
efficient transport than the others because it promises the time punctuality punctually
without traffic jams, thus it requires to be more developed than now. therefore,
citizens do not need to worry about to being late to commute to school or work place. according
to a survey conducted in Korea last year, many citizens prefer to use trains
instead of using buses or taxis because it provided the lower prices for
customers and it helped people to reduce time consumption when they were busy. In
addition, the less waiting time is the one of the reasons for people to use
the train, compared to other transports that cannot predict exact times for it to arrive to come on time. In addition, railways provide a safety for
users, while the roads have many lots of accidents can be emerged. therefore, as for
railway users could have a reliable mind to use the trains and its already soaked
into the mind of people as an indispensable transport. as well as, As for mechanic,
they can be renewed the rail without difficultly, because the train just runs on
a way without any intersection, thus if when it comes, they can avoid easily <(avoid what?). <Need better coherence> by
working on roads, even if they are experts expertise, there are numerous complications, thus, they cannot guarantee to escape unavoidable situations such as over
speeding cars on roads.
To conclude, it is clear that the state
needs to be invested enormous amount of money on railways to be for more safer and faster, rather
than the roads as the railways of advantages of railways overweight the roads of advantages of roads.
Score: 6.5 Comment: 질문에 대한 답과 내용은 아주 좋다고 생각합니다. 다만 문법에 너무 많이 틀리시고 계십니다. 기초 문법에도 많이 틀리시고 계십니다. 문법 연습을 더 하시는 것을 추천합니다. 어순/punctuation/capitalization/article 활용/subject verb agreement/collocation/알맞는 단어형태 활용/plurality/표현/전치사에 틀리시고 계십니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |