The bar chart represents the value of a country’s professionals in varied categories during 2015 and the following year. The table below illustrates the proportion change in each category of experts (export 를 실수로 expert 로 보셔서인지, 이것 포함해서 professional 등 엉뚱한 단어가 글 내내 사용되었으므로 싹 수정해주셔야합니다. 두 영역에 동시에 영향을 주는 사항인만큼 주의해주세요~) in 2016 in comparison to 2015.
It is obvious that experts in petroleum products and engineered goods categories markably earned more money than those who are in other categories in both suggested years. Experts in petroleum products made slightly over 60 billons dollars in 2015 and those in engineered goods made more than 55 billion dollars in the same year. Furthermore, both of them recorded an increased number in the next year. Professionals in gems and jewellery made more income than those in agricultural products and those in textiles in the both years. However, they are the only people in the category which has reduced record change in values from 2015 to 2016. People working in agricultural products made profit steadily with the number of around 32 billing dollars. It is extremely remarkable that expert earnings of textiles had the smallest figure in 2015, but it increased 15.24% in one year. Therefore it reached nearly same amount of the earnings of experts in agricultural products.
총평: (5/6/6/7) 6.0
(특히 문법에서) 영어 실력이 정말 좋으신 편이라 5점대로 떨어지는 참사까지는 막았지만, 현재 글은 expert 때문에 TR/LR 쪽 감점이 동시에 된 데에다가, overview 도 없습니다. 심지어 분석 내용이 대부분 첫 번째 표에 쏠려있기 때문에 여러모로 문제가 많습니다. 따라서
1. expert 및 이와 관련된 단어의 전부 수정
2. overview 의 추가 (이게 제일 중요합니다.)
3. 두 표의 어느정도 균등한 배분
을 신경써서 수정해주세요! 수고하셨습니다 :)
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