▶ Your Answer :
People
are incapable of being satisfied with what they have: they always want what
they don't have.
There
are some people who think that people know the time when ones should stop>> 무슨 뜻인가요? people이 연속으로 오는 것도 좋지 않습니다.
However, in my opinion, it is barely possible to stop oneself over what people
want to possess more >> 이것도 무슨 뜻인지 잘 모르겠네요, even though people have enough properties >>지적 혹은 공공재산 등의 추상적인 개념이 아니라면 복수형으로 써주시길 바랍니다 , knowledge and so
on. This is because ones not only look for something better generally as>> as 다음엔 주로 명사나 완전한 절이 나와야합니다 innate
but also are stimulated from by others to improve oneself more.
To
begin with, people are fundamentally greedy since ones are born. This is
obviously true that people's innate >> innate는 형용사입니다 is greedy >> 앞에 내용과 중복이 됩니다 so that, normally, >> 부사는 표시를 해주세요 콤마로 people pursue
more than what they have now. For example, when a baby is even not over one
>> when 절 말고 주절이 없네요 ar old, he wants to get >> get동사는 좋지 않습니다 너무 많은 뜻이 있습니다 more meals and cannot stop eating himself. Even if
the baby is not aware of his action, he naturally follows his innate. From this
view, as a part of innate, ones cannot live behind of grasping instinct so that
주어가 빠졌습니다 naturally long for more valuable things to get into one's hands.
On
top of that, in contemporary society, living with various kinds of people, who
have different jobs, backgrounds, families and so on, is willing to inspire
people to recognize what ones do not have and furthermore, which part ones
better improve >> which part ones improve better as , >>콤마로 넣어주세요 comparing to others for one's future. From my personal
experience, when I entered a university as a freshman, I realized there were
plenty of different people living with me and I found out a number of good
things to deserve to learn lessons from others. Even though I was good at my major what
I specialized in, I also tried to learn more from what others are interested in
or are good at. From this my old habit, I am still trying to learn more, >> 콤마를 넣어주세요 because
I am thinking my field of knowledge is not enough and deserve to improve more >> 앞에서부터 deserve 쓰임이 어색합니다 deserve는 ~할 가치가 있다 받을 가치가 있다 등의 목적어를 필요로하는 동사입니다.
It proves that people desire more than what individuals own.
To
sum up, people fundamentally possess more as innate and furthermore, are
inspired to get more by recognizing what ones are missing, but others have. In
this regard, I do believe that people desire to own more, even though people
have enough.
innate 는 형용사인데 명사처럼 사용을 하십니다 nature 등이라고 하시거나 innate 혹은 inborn ability 등으로 하시는게 좋습니다 또한 ones가 너무 많이 쓰입니다 그래서 글이 굉장히 평면적이라 두 문단이 됐을 때 반복이 느껴지고 혼란스럽고 지루한 글이 될 가능성이 농후함을 느꼈습니다 글을 다시 머릿속으로 생각해봐주시구 get 동사는 너무 많은 뜻이 있어 좋지 못합니다
Task Achievement - 6 Coherence and Cohesion - 5 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammartical Range and Accuracy - 5
5.0 예상합니다
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