■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. You response will be judge on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words.
■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
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Recently, some people often change their careers once or several times for their variable needs. I think they have numerous reasons for the change and it may be different to each person. Several years ago, the phenomenon was a few, generally people work on same career continuously. >> 이 현상이 점점 더 심해지고 있다. 이 것에 대해 이유들과 그로 인한 긍정적인 내용을 말하겠다 식으로 작성하는게 낫겠습니다
In my opinion, this is a positive improvement To begin with, the change of job is good for job market also due to personal development. This is because it is possible when there are many kinds of jobs and a lot of opportunities for those >> ?? who those?. For instance, In my case, after I graduated university, majoring in nursing, I had worked>> 졸업 전에 한건가요? as a nurse in Surgery intensive care unit of hospital, which was my first job. However, at that time, but I could not find any interesting from the career. So >> so also or but and 는 문두에 쓰지 않습니다 For the reason of my indifference, I searched another careers , which fits for my character, interest, >> 세개 이상의 나열에서 마지막 항목 앞 and 앞에 콤마입니다 and talent I have. At last, I changed my career, and has worked as a CRA for over 3years, satisfying with the job. Like the my experience, changing career also can be a process for own my own vocational aptitude >> 이 부분은 굳이 필요한 내용은 아닌 듯 싶습니다.
On the other hand, long time ago, society needs only limited jobs,>> 콤마 빼주세요 and people did one’s their best to be a professional in their department fields >> 하나만 주장으로 제시해주세요. It has some advantages, too as well. For example, Yuna Kim, a figure skating player, who is the best in the world now and is called a queen of figure,>> since가 문두에 나오면 since 문장 뒤에 콤마가 나오지만 since 절이 뒤에 나오는 경우엔 콤마없이 연결됩니다 since she has diligently worked on dedicated to only one career, figure skating diligently.>> On the other hand 는 반대되는 문장을 말하는 부사인데 그렇게 되면 다른 주장을 나타내는겁니다 어울리지 않습니다
In conclusion, the changes of career occupation will be decided according to personal talents and characters. And >> and or also so but 은 문두에 쓰지 않습니다 If a person continuously hard work to come true one’s dream or goal, the number of changes in careers is not important actually >> 결론 부분에서 if 가정이 나오는건 절대 좋지 않습니다 이제 문장을 끝맺어야 하는데 가정은 정말 이상합니다.
하나의 주장만 다뤄주시길 바랍니다 250자의 짧은 글이라 두 개의 주장을 다 다루려면 턱없이 부족합니다 어느 부분이 긍정적인 영향이고 어느 부분이 이유인가요? 따로 본문 하나씩 분배해주면 더 좋을 듯 싶은데 다 섞여서 확연히 구분되게 보질 못하네요 문법에서 오류도 많고 비슷한 구조들이 많아 감점이 예상됩니다
Task Achievement - 6
Coherence and Cohesion - 5
Lexical Resource - 6
Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5
5.5 예상합니다