▶ Your Answer :
The two maps pictures 처럼 map이 아닌 다른 말을 써야 합니다 illustrate the transformation of an island, before and after the construction of tourist areas.
In the map of original feature of the former island, it stretches from west to east its length is about 200 metres. Besides, it usually grows some palm trees grow and the beach exist at the west side of it. After the construction, a lot of lodging facilities take on the middle of the island. In the middle of the accommodations, there is a reception for tourist, surrounded by vehicle tracks. If you look at the north and south of it, you can find out restaurant and pier are constructed, respectably respectively. For the convenience, all tourist areas are tracked connected with footpath. The west of the island, tourists can swim in the beach. Only the east part of the island intact from these developments.
Comparing to the two maps, we can it is found out clear that the island has a lot of changes and turn into awesome tourism areas where people can enjoy eat, rest, and entertain activities. From now on, the eastern island remains itself, but it also might be developed by human, soon.
각 문단 첫 줄 맨 앞은 한 칸 띄어주세요 현재 사진으로 보고 모를 내용들이 많습니다 tourists 들이 바다에서 수영을 즐길 수 있다라는건 맵에 나와있지 않을 뿐더러
맨 마지막에 곧 개발된다는 것도 알 수 없구요 또한 We can ~~ 등의 we 는 쓰지 않습니다 객관적인 시점에서 제시해야만 합니다 편의를 위해서인지 관광객을 위해서인지도 모르는 시설들이라 그런걸 단정지어서는 안 되구요 단순히 그냥 어느 곳이 바뀌었다는 내용만 서술되어야 합니다 맵의 전과 후의 비교가 제대로 나타나지도 않았고 단순 나열입니다
Task Achievement - 5 Coherence and Cohesion - 6 Lexical Resource - 6 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5
5.5 예상합니다 |