▶ Your Answer :
The two maps shows Island showed significant changes of tourist facilities on the island after construction.
First, there were no facilities at all in the past. However, But (문장을 conjunction으로작하는 건 좋지 않아요. ) after construction, there are two-part of accommodation areas, which that consists of six and nine accommodations in each area respectively is over 10 accomodations, if it is divided by a reception. In addition, a restaurant was built at behind the reception which is middle od accommodations as well as a pier built mid-south of the island on the sea. and a pier was also located in middle-south part of the Island.
Second, the a vehicle track and footpath was made, connecting the accommodations, pier, the restaurant, and the beach. . from accommodation area to pier and beach. Construction was also made on the beach and pier for people to swim and sail.People can walk through to beach to swimming and enjoy sailings near the pier.
In conclusion, there are so many facilities that tourists can enjoy their time in the island after construction was complete. convinently for activities.<여기서 concluding 할때 중요한건 아마도 construction이후 변화가 뭐인지 라서 꼭 그 내용을 써주셔야합니다.
Score: 4.5 Comment: Spelling mistake랑 문법이 트린곳이 많습니다. 그리고 숫자 1~10 를 쓰실라면 글로 쓰셔야합니다. 아직은 표현력이 조금 부족하신거같아요. 글도 150 미만입니다. 너무 적게 쓰면 거기에도 점수가 깍길수있어요. |