▶ Your Answer :
Given is a map showing information about the development of Chorleywood, a village situated near London from 1866 to 1994.
It is clear that there was a significant connection between its population and the development of transport networks.
According to the diagram, in the first stage, Chorleywood was located to the west of the Choleywood Park and Golf course and placed next to a North South Main Road, which was one of the main road viable at that time. Since 1909, with the newly established station and railway crossing from the west to east, the village expanded to the south, which was 3three times bigger than the initial size.
Throughout the third stage in the overall development from 1922 to 1970, the village experiences a continuous expansion to the Eastwards along the rail road. Finally, a significant development was noticed during the 15 years from 1970.<(이 문장이 figure중에 어떤 부분을 이야기하시는지 모르겠습니다) Since a new motorway was built in 1970, the village has expanded its area around two intersection points of the way for automobiles and main road and railway. (174 words)
Score: 5 Comment: 많이 헷갈리는 에세이 입니다. 두,세번 읽어봐야 이해되는 문장들이 많습니다. 년도를 사용하실때 주의 해주시는데 좋을 것같습니다. 1909년도에는 railway가 만들어졌지만 그 떄 부터 마을이 south으로 expland를 시작한데 아니여서 Since라는 단어를 앞에 쓰시면 내용이 exact하지 않습니다. 어순 또한 어색한 부분들이 있습니다. 어순이 이 좋아야 더 확실하고 정확한 정보 전달을 하실수 있습니다. |