▶ Your Answer :
It is commonly believed that teenage years
are the golden days of people’s lives. However, many others disagree with this
opinion and contend that life of adult is more satisfying than that of teenagers’.<(of를 써주셨기 때문에 apostrophe를 안쓰셔도 됩니다) In this essay, both viewpoints will be discussed and I will express my own
opinion.
On the one hand, there are many factors
that make teenager life happy and enjoyable. Firstly, teenage years are the
time people build up their relationship with peers. Friends from high school
are often regarded as true friends because they share a lot of time together
studying, playing sports and hanging around. In addition, when people are young, they generally have fewer responsibilities than adults. Their parents are
behind to support them mentally and financially. All they have to do is pursue pursuing their goals.
On the other hand, many people think that
adult life is more enjoyable than school times. Students are busier than adults in
many cases. Teenagers have to fully focus on their academic study to get an
admission to an university, rather than having fun with their friends. It is
really stressful to compete with classmates to get better scores in the exam. Students
are engaged in extracurricular activities after school hours that they do not
have much time for themselves and their family. <( 내용이 전 문단과 조금 contradicting 합니다) Also, there are more
entertainments for adults to participate in. As an example, people aged fewer
than 18 are not allowed to go to places such as clubs, pubs and cinemas playing
PG-18 films. Moreover, adults are likely to be financially secure that they can
do and buy more things than teenagers.
In conclusion, both teenage and adults life
have distinctive pros and cons. In my perspective, life of grown-ups has more
factors to be happier than teenagers. This is because there are many things in
the world only adults can enjoy. Also their life is more relaxed than high
school students.
Score: 8 Comment: Silly mistakes에 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 그것 외에는 잘 서술해주셨습니다. 수고 하셨습니다.
|