▶ Your Answer :
Tourism industries are gradually making a
huge profit for many nations. In some countries, tourism is much more important than
traditional factory industries with its it’s specialty that small input make big
output. However, there is also a danger hiding inside. In this essay, I will compare the both views.
A great advantage of tourism industry is, the
fact that flow of money is one-way. In terms of manufacturing industries, if a
country wants to make a profit through international trade, they should invest to
make products which costs money. However, tourism industry does not require much investment a
lot of invest except some managements to tourism sites. All the tourists from
hundreds of countries are just giving their money to the nation that they are
traveling. Tourism industry is also free from the danger of trade based on
currency and technological competition that imposes huge burden to a lot of
countries.
However, a great hidden danger exists is exist in
the development of tourism. By earning huge profits from tourism easily, it is
easy to neglect other important industries which are not easy but essential. (문장을 and but or로 시작하는 것을 추천하지 않습니다.)>And this neglect will put a country into a great danger some day as we can see
in the case of Greece. Econmic regression hit the world few years ago. In this
danger, countries like Germany stood still with its strong factory industry based
on many decades of huge investment. Otherwise, Greece, which only relied was rely only on
its tourism that was inherited from their ancestors without trying hard to keep
up with cutting-edge technology and changing world, just collapsed in front of
temporary regression.
In conclusion, tourism can become a good source of
profit for many nations based on its characteristic of non-manufacturing
industry. However, if a nation with competitive tourism industry is stopping
further development of to other important industries due to tourism’s advantages,
the advantages they enjoyed can turn into great disadvantages.
Score: 6.5 Comment: 내용은 괜찮은데 spelling mistake가 너무 많습니다. 또한 문법상 어순에 틀리시고 계십니다. 그 외에는 조금더 다양한 표현을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |