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A plethora Plethora of people from the world go hungry although there has been development in agriculture. (서론을 지금과 같이 한 문장으로만 끝내서는 안 됩니다. 앞으로 글의 방향에 대한 대략의 소개를 해주세요.)
There are several reasons why people are still dying out of hunger hungry. To begin with, growing population could be one of the reasons why it happens. Many people argue that nowadays birth rates are declining, however in many undeveloped countries' birth rates did not decline. Therefore the speed of the development of agriculture could not follow the speed of the population growth growing. Moreover, lacking lack of money could be another reason. The price of food (이렇게 적는 것이 훨씬 문어에 가깝습니다. 물론 기존 표현에도 문법상 문제가 있는 건 아니에요.), Food's price in especially poor countries or town is expensive so people cannot pay for food. This could be because of taxes or companies who only think about their own interest.
To solve this problem shortly, donations including money, flor and rice that can help people to survive can be done by governments and organisations. Donation includes money, flour and rice that can help people to survive. To solve it permanently, government or global organization for instance, United Nations should produce laws that banning companies to overprice essential products or applying taxes in vital things. Vital things include fruit, vegetables and ingredients that can be used to make meals. (여기도 굳이 하나의 독립적인 문장으로 나뉠 필요는 없고, 추가적으로 이렇게 작성하면서 분량을 채우는 것보다는 해결책의 양상에 대해 더 설명하는 게 낫습니다. 이에 관해서는 총평에서 조금 더 설명드릴게요.)
In conclusion, growing population and un-affordable food prices are two of the reasons why hungry people still exist. To solve it, donation could be made be occur first and then government should lower the prices of essential food to keep people alive. |