It is evident that each person has his or her own opinion about which subject is the most important regarding a lot of factors. Some people argue that History is the most important subject, however, other people believe Science and Technology are more essential than History. In this essay, I would like to discuss these two opinions and suggest my view.
To begin with, recently, practical knowledge is getting more
important in our ever-changing society. Because the world is changing very
fast, adapting to a new environment is a vital process for everyone. For
instance, nowadays teachers meet students not in person but online, because of a
dangerous virus (구체적으로 코로나 얘기를 해주시면 더 좋습니다.). Teachers open their classes by using the Internet internet. If people do
not know how to use these technologies, students would have to just wait in
their homes until the bad situation gets better. (그렇기 때문에 과학 기술이 가장 중요한 과목들이다~라는 표현이 들어가야 합니다.)
On the other hand, it is also a significant fact that people should
learn history History. We have been developing lots of things by learning from the
past. To make a better present and future, people have to learn and analyse the
past. For example, people who were in the past developed a telephone with a
long curved line, and now, we made a mobile phone. It is clear that the
telephone became a clue for developing a mobile phone. (이 문장이 바로 앞 문장에 같이 들어갈 수 있도록 마지막 두 문장을 한번 수정해보시고, 결과를 댓글로 검사 받으세요! 혹시 어떻게 바꿔야할지 모르겠다면 이 역시 댓글 주시면 됩니다.)
To sum up, both two subjects are vital for people in terms of a
long-sighted view. In my opinion, learning Science based on our history History is
could be an effective way for understanding and adapting to the rapidly changing
world.
총평: (6/7/6/7) 6.5
History (과학 기술도 마찬가지이고요) 의 대소문자 관련해서, 원칙은 소문자 시작이 맞습니다. 그러나 논제에서 얘네가 대문자 시작이 된 이유는 학교 과목으로써의 역사, 과학/기술을 의미하기 때문이고요. 지금 결론에서와 같이 일반적인 학문으로써 역사를 표현하게 될 때에는 소문자 시작입니다. 근데 이렇게 일일히 구분하기 조금 어렵기 때문에, 그냥 모조리 소문자 시작하는 걸 추천드려요. 그러면 적어도 틀릴 일은 없습니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)