In some countries, many young people choose to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.
It is true that more and more students go
traveling or work for a year between graduating high school and entering university.
Some people claim that it is definitely beneficial for students to work or
travel before starting university studies. However, other people argue that they
have to start university studies right away.
To begin with, there are a lot of benefits
from working or traveling before going to university. For instance, while
working, they (문단에 처음 등장하는 대상이 대명사로 쓰여서는 안 됩니다.) can learn social skills. What I mean is that, they can experience
a wide range of situations, which leads to them to make it possible to deal
with any difficult times in university. Furthermore, since having earned money
on their own, they know how it is difficult and hard to earn money. For these
reasons, they will study harder than those who have not had a social
experience, which will make help them get high grades in university. Speaking of
those who go travelling before entering university, as everyone knows that
travelling can broaden one’s outlook. With this broad outlook, they will do
their best and be able to manage any situations in university.
On the other hand, there are many people
arguing that working and travelling before entering university can be a waste
of time. Although these can give beneficial experiences, it takes time anyway. In
other words, if they do not do their best during the journey or work, they lose not only time but also
money. With these reasons, they insist that students have to start their university studies as
quickly as possible. (아마 작성하면서도 느끼셨겠지만, 지금 이 문단이 약간 짧은 편이므로 여기에 관해서 살짝만 보완해주세요~)
In conclusion, as stated above, both views
have their own strong points. Therefore, students who want to work or travel before
entering university must muse on whether they can do well or not.
총평: (6/6/6/6) 6.0
이정도면 Task1이 정말적이어도 웬만하면 총점이 5.0은 넘길 겁니다. 고로 너무 걱정하실 필요는 없지만, 대신 지금 task1에 너무 대비가 안 되어있는 것도 분명합니다. 아예 준비를 안 하고 갈 수는 없으니까 유형별로 몇 번은 꼭 연습해놓으세요!
+문단에 뭐가 처음 쓰이는 경우 그게 지칭하는 바를 정확히 밝혀주셔야 합니다.
수고하셨습니다 :)