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It has long been noticed worldwide that the human population has increased by with leaping and bounding. This trend brings out problems in various ranges with short and long term effects within the countries all over the worlds. Here, the destruction of nature and heavy competitions over limited job vacancy will be discussed in detail. To make any differences in the current practice, the government must take decisions to make radical changes.
At the forefront of all demerits of ever rising in human inhabitants is destruction of the ‘Mother Earth’. As the number of people is elevated more and more, the relevant lands are needed for settlement, entertainments, agriculture and industries. Such a problem occurs in wealthy nations can be dealt with good manners by minimizing the demolition of surroundings. On the other hands, if this is brought to countries with poverty, it will >> if절의 동사가 현재라면 주절의 조동사도 현재가 되야 합니다 cause catastrophic problems with both monetary systems and the environmental systems. Here, the globalization acts as a catalyst for such a crisis to spread out to become uncontrollable drawbacks to the world as whole. In short, the growth in population must be taken care for preservation of nature.
In addition, most importantly, an increase in dwellers causes scio-economic >> 어떤 단어인가요? dilemmas, competing with scarce working places. Not only in poor countries, but in wealthy ones, the phenomenon of a lack of a job opportunity is highlighted for the past few decades. It is simply happening simply >> 부사는 동사 앞에 써주세요 because of the number of jobs overwhelms the number of potential candidates. Bogged by the illusionary ghouls >> 어떤 표현인 지에 대해선 모르지만 이런 관용식의 표현은 적절치 않습니다 of limited job with overcrowded population, the nation is likely to go under both financial difficulties as well as the gloomy society . In other words, the mounting population depicts the situation of competing over lacking jobs, leads to scio-economic complications.
To stop such spiteful struggles, I believe that the government should always be there to strictly control the population. Enforcement of law is governmental responsibility. One of the most effective solutions to this is educates people to do make safe relationships, using condoms while having sex, for instance. Adopting this practice can handle the population growth rate successfully.
To conclude, here, the increase in population results the potential problems, destroying the nature and heavy severe competitions in a job opportunity. This critical worldwide issue must be seriously taken into account seriously by the government for better society.
우선 글이 너무 깁니다 긴 글에서 논리 및 요지가 잘 맞고 그래머가 맞는다면 문제 없지만
곳곳에서 그래머의 실수가 보입니다 보니까 약 460자 가량 되는 듯 한데 시험장에서 400자 이상을 쓸 수 없습니다 시간, 압박 등의 문제로 250자 겨우 채우고 나오는 경우가 많죠 너무 긴 글은 오히려 본인의 라이팅에 방해가 됩니다
Task Achievement - 8
Coherence and Cohesion - 7
Lexical Resource - 7
Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5
7.0 예상하지만 시험장에서 다 못 쓸 경우엔 6.0 예상합니다 |