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As a result of technological development, robots are being parts of our lives and contributing to the society. Regarding this, although some people argue that the negative effects of using robots outweigh positive effects since robots take people’s job away. However, I strongly believe that the society has benefited from robots to have the economic growth and people's improved security. In this essay, I will further explain my arguments below.
I partially agree with the people who oppose use robots more and more in our society. Firstly, one reason is that the rate of the unemployment is increasing nowadays because of robots’ abilities to work. There are many areas where robots are working,>> 콤마 빼주세요 주어가 같을 때 콤마를 씁니다 and people are concerned about the situation. According to a survey conducted by Korea National University, working robots accounted for a half of whole workers in manufacturing corporations that want to increase their profits and efficiency. In this regard, the survey supported those people who assert that the more robots are working in people’s job occupation, the faster domestic recession is. >> the 비교급 형태의 문장은 문법상으론 엄연히 잘못된 것입니다 구어에서 좋고 아카데믹에선 사용을 자제해주세요
I believe, on the other hand, that robots are already being parts of our lives and giving numerous benefits. Most importantly, the economic assistance robots give it to us is great. Robots have efficiency,>> 콤마 빼고 and 써주세요 accuracy,>> 콤마 빼주세요 콤마가 있으면 앞에 명사와 걸리는겁니다 and they even do not feel tired, which means those machines will help many companies to make the profits of many companies. In addition to this, if there were no robots, for instance, we could not have got had sophisticated products such as semiconductors, electronic devices, >> 세개 이상 나열에서 마지막 and 앞엔 콤마입니다 and supercomputers that are the major export products in my country Korea. On top of that, robots provide security to people, with being replaced in dangerous and difficult workplaces.
In conclusion, although there are a rising number of working robots, I believe that machines can never take people's works all because there are always exceptional situations that it is impossible to solve a problem by robots. and >> 깁니다 끊어드립니다 that people have benefited from robots in those many ways above.
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Task Achievement - 6 Coherence and Cohesion - 5 Lexical Resource - 6 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5
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