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The line graph illustrates the number of British people travelling abroad and that of foreign people travelling around taking a trip to the UK and the bar graph provides five countries where the most British people went Britons have been to in 1999.
As clearly seen from the line chart, the number of overseas British people overseas travellers was slightly higher than that of international travellers to the UK at around 13 millions and 10 millions respectively for the year 1979. There was a significant rise in travelling overseas for of British people over the entire research period from 1979 to 1999, while . The number of foreigners sightseeing in the UK also increased gradually at the same period time. However, over 50 millions UK people from the UK enjoyed travelling around the world in 1999, compared with just below half of foreigners coming to the UK for a trip.
Furthermore, France was the most popular country for British people at about 11millions, followed by Spain at about 9 millions. On the other hand, the least number of British people travelled around Turkey at around 2.5 millions. The number of UK English visitors to Greece and the USA was slightly more than that of UK visitors the visitors to Turkey.
In conclusion, the number of British people travelling overseas was greater than that of foreigners travelling around the UK over the entire given period and the majority of British people went to close countries, France and Spain, for a trip >> 도표에 나타나 있지 않은 내용입니다.
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각 문단 첫 시작은 한 칸 들여쓰고 시작해주세요 글자수가 220자가 넘습니다 40~50자 가량 줄여주시구요 문단은 3개면 충분합니다 크게 서론 본론(오버뷰+디테일) 결론이죠
대명사로 받지 않고 너무 단어로만 나오고 그게 중복되다 보니 단어를 다른 것들로 고쳐드렸는데 그렇게 되니 뭔가 산만한 글 같습니다 계속 이쪽저쪽 튀는 느낌이랄까요 British, English, From the UK, Britons 등 한 문장에도 이런 단어들이 두 세개씩 있으니 좋진 않네요 그래프의 값을 서로 비교해야 하는데 나열된 듯하게 보이는 것들이 더 많습니다 (예를 들면 뭐가 뭐의 몇배다 뭐와 뭐를 합친게 뭐보다 많다 등) millions 는 수백만이란 뜻입니다 2 3 4 5 6 모두 million 입니다 -s 형태가 아닙니다 단어 중복이 너무 많고 효율적으로 대명사 등으로 바꾸는 것들이 적어서 감점 드렸습니다
Task Achievement - 6 Coherence and Cohesion - 6 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 6
6.0 예상합니다 |