The flow chart diagram represents what typically occurs typically as a consequences of deforestation. The cutting of forests leads four immediate effects. Furthermore, the effects brings in two fundamental consequences of deforestation which are increasing rate of flood and loss of biodiversity. >> 줄 그어드린 부분들은 사실상 필요없는 말들입니다 그냥 이 차트가 뭘 보여준다고 한다고만 말하면 서론은 끝난 것과 다름 없습니다
Based on the given flow chart, the first of immediate effects is that the soil is compressed by heavy logging equipment; as a results, there are it becomes hard and baked soil is hardened and baked. Finally, there is eventually a flood in baked the changed soil when the rain water runs off.
Another immediate effects is that the happens by cutting of down forests, which leads to the reduced the number of roots. It leads makes the top soil eroded due to the remaining fewer roots hold the superficial soil.
The third immediate effect is increasing the risk of fire. As increased incidence of fire, the number of wast>>?? woods is reduced. The decreased wast>>?? woods influence badly on micro-organisms which feeding on waste woods.>> woods의 반복이 심하네요 대명사라도 받아주세요
The last immediate result of deforestation is a less returning moisture to the air by plants. It becomes the cause of less precipitation. Due to If the precipitation has been decreased, the rate of drought will increased.
The three superficial effects of deforestation leads to moving pioneering species and degraded vegetation; consequently, the ultimate results is loss of biodiversity.
6문단이면 Task2 도 두개를 쓸 문단 개수입니다 효과적으로 분석하지 못했단 말이 됩니다 단어의 반복, 쉬운 문법의 오류, 필요없는 말도 많이 보입니다
우선 문법 어휘 잡아주시고 나서 Task1 다른 주제 써보시길 바랍니다
Task Achievement - 5
Coherence and Cohesion - 5
Lexical Resource - 5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5
Coherence and Cohesion - 5
Lexical Resource - 5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5
5.0 예상합니다