▶ Your Answer :
Nowadays, there is a various kinds variety of different kinds of media for communicating information, such as a television, the radio, and a book. Each medium has both advantages and disadvantages. However, I think that a television is the most effective media to communicate information for several reasons.
First, the people who get gain >> get 동사는 피해주세요 information through a television can both watch visual stuffs images and listen to sound >> people can gain information in dynamic ways through a telesision. They can watch images and listen to sound at the same time, which cannot be synchronized in enjoying a book or the radio. , while the. , people who get information from the radio can only listen to sound and a reader of a book can only watch visual stuffs. This fact is a really important advantage of a television because the advantage helps people understand information easier than any other media do. For example, when a serious earthquake occurs, television can effectively show effectively people the news with video and sound, while radio has limits to show the crucial and vivid situation because of its lack of visuality visibility. For the reason above, television helps people understand information easier than any other medium does.
Second, a television can immediately communicate immediately with people. When some events happen, while a book cannot >> cannot 붙여써주세요 >> 어떤 설명이 추가로 나와줘야 합니다. For example, when 911 occurred in the U.S., >>?? 911이 발생? emergency 가 발생하는 것이 맞습니다 a television directly said directly about the news, but people book readers have to wait for reading a book associated with about the news until the a book is published. In addition, these days everything changes so quickly, and many issues happen unpredictably, so the fact that a television can immediately communicate information is an important advantage compared to a book. >> In addition 은 추가적인 주장을 나타낼 때 씁니다 밑줄 부분 지워주세요
In conclusion, a television is the most effective media for communicating information for several advantages which are not given by other media's disadvantages. In addition, a television will become more important and more effective way of communicating information by time goes, since more and more people want to communicate quickly and to get information through both watching and listening at once for easy understanding. >> 갑자기 또 in addition 이 나와서 위의 내용들을 포함시키지 못하는 내용이 나왔습니다 시간이 지날수록 더 효과적이게 된다는 그런 말은 위에 없으니 결론에 쓰면 안 됩니다
위에 고쳐드린 대로 바꾸면 좋겠습니다 아직 전체적으로 task2 를 구성하기엔 어려워보입니다
Task1 먼저 작성해주시고 문법 공부하면서 다양한 표현들 익히고 단어도 다양하게 구사할 수 있게 보카 공부하시길 바랍니다 본문이나 결론에서 부족함이 보여 논리전개나 통일성 부분에선 감점을 크게 드렸습니다 딱 필요한 부분의 논리는 테스크 면이나 논리전개 면이나 괜찮았지만 다른 내용들이 글을 다른 방향으로 새어나가게 한 점이 아깝습니다 필요없는 것들 지우고 쓸 것들만 남기고 좀 보충해주시면 6점대도 충분했을 글입니다
Task Achievement - 6 Coherence and Cohesion - 5 Lexical Resource - 6 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 5
5.5 예상합니다
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