▶ Your
As a result of modernized development, deforestation has become more seriously in our society environment than ever before. Now, (comma) the a number of countries tries put effort to find solutions. in the text In this essay, I will discuss about this problem and show suggest some measures and given some solution.
To solve this problem ,firstly the biggest problem of deforestation is people who do not know about this. so So, firstly we should inform about problem of deforestation. it It can be done by government. The government should make people to know about this problem which can be informed by through some campaign. it It is trueth that campaign can change people the way to think to the right and put forward more step for saving our environment.
On the other hand, (comma) I believe that it is the most effective way to resolve this problem is strong regulation and punishment by government. aAlthough some people said that
the punishment is not reasonable solution. however , it is truth that some people who openly offence the regulation of traffic role ??? has been changed through harsh punishment. also Also, government should offer free conference for the problem of deforestation.
inIn conclusion, (comma) we can handle this problem for informing to public for our environment and the punishment would be work for a long time term. however However, I believe that the more important thing to resolve this problem is to cooperate between the public and the government.
SCORE: 4.5
Comment: 문법 실수가 많습니다. 대/소문자 구분, 콤마의 사용, although 사용법, etc.. 기초에 집중해주세요. |