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Tourism can encourage
people from all over the world to visit one's country and experience its
culture and lifestyle. Also,many countries are obtaining financial benefits
through their tourism industry. However, there are negative effects on the of economy
in some countries. It is undeniable that tourism has affected local economy, but it which has both advantages as well as serious drawbacks.
Concerning to the
positive side, it is generally true that the tourism industry is vital for some
countries, which people rely on tourism for their income. It creates
employment due to demands for goods and
services such as hotels and entertainment. Also, it helps to improve the standard of living. Aside from
that, tourism would be promoted advertising of national values by tourists,
visiting monuments, sight-seeing historical places, tasting traditional food.
While the merits of
tourism have been prevalent, society needs to be also aware of its demerits. First, tourism can have a negative impact on the environment. To illustrate, excessive
buildings destroys natural habitats and spoils the landscape. For example,
developing road and building accommodation without regulation, it puts pressure
on local resources such as food, water and energy. Another negative point of
this is that local traditions could be disrupt the authenticity. For instance,
tradition jobs and skills die out such as farming and fishing, since local people
are forced to work in the tourist industry. Moreover, these are related to the idea that
tourism may cause a rise in the cost of living by commercialization in the region. As
a result, it there has been an effect on losing traditional roots, which is a detrimental
loss for the nation.
Based on the discussion
presented above, the pros and cons of tourism co-exist. Therefore, society and
government have to preserve historic heritage and the environment from damage.
By the implementation of regulation, efforts need to be made to maintain our
precious resources for the future generation.
Score: 5.5 Comment: Imcomplete한 phrase나 clause가 많습니다. 주의해주세요. 에세이의 내용이 좋고 내용/토픽별로 문단을 잘 짜신거같습니다. 다만 body paragraphs 에서아직 정리가 덜 된 느낌입니다. 질문을 보면 negative effect에 대해 더 집중적으로 요구 하는 것 같습니다. 하지만 conclusion에서는 pros and cons co-exist 라고 말씀 하시는데 뒤에 오는 문장들은 cons위주로 가고 있습니다. 마치 pros 와 cons 둘다 equally한 이야기가 나올 것 같습니다. 조금더 cons위조 가실라면 추가로 cons가 더 weight가 있다고 써주시면 좋을것 같습니다. |