▶ Your Answer :
People have
divergent views with regards to the question of whether parents should teach
their children to be good members of community or not in contemporary society.
While some argue that parents should lead their child because their lead could
be the foundation for the child’s behavior, from my personal perspective, school
would be more beneficial to be the place for children due to friendship and
group working. <(질문이 discuss both views인 만큼 글쓴이 뿐만 아니라 다른 사람들도 부모가 해야하나 안해야하나 보다 부모인가 학교인가 라는 것을 밝혀주시면 좋을 것 같습니다.)
On the one
hand, learning from parents is very important for developing children’s personality.
The child learns how to act or talk politely to others from their parents. For
example, a research conducted by University of Toronto has shown that the
environment for living with family affects the child’s personality in their
youth. It means that the role of parent in home could be the foundation for a child’s
behavior and personality, and these sectors are the most important to have a
relationship with others. In this regard, parent should teach their children to
be a good member of society.
On the
other hand, some argue that school should be the place to learn for children how
to be included in society. It is true that school offers chances to be a member
of community and also offers group working. According to these activities, children
can learn how to be involved in groups by struggling or debating with friends
themselves. As people have diverse personalities, teaching young people in one
way is impossible to understand or solve problems by arguing with others. Given
the above, learning the method how to be a member in school should give more experiences
and practical circumstances to young people.
In
conclusion, with aforementioned reasons, while there are some opinions to argue
that teaching the way to be a good member in society, my own view is that
school is more beneficial for children to learn how to handle themselves in
society due to a chance for choosing the way by their experience.
Score: 7.5 Comment: 잘 서술 해주셨습니다. Silly mistakes에 조심해 주시기를 바랍니다. 조금 만 더 editing 을 해주시면 더 좋은 글 이 될 수 있다고 생각합니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |