▶ Your Answer :
Riding a bicycle is helping individuals become fit and is beneficial for to environments to become greener. <Need better coherence> It is believed that, despite all
other reasons for its unpopularity, the main reason is insufficient facilities.
To deal with this problem, the government can install relevant facilities at
the right places. (Need better transition)
Even though there are other reasons that may cause the of
unpopularity with cycling activities, I believe the sufficient facilities to be
installed first, to encourage the citizens to do cycling activities. There are
not enough bicycle lanes around the places that could prevent people from
riding a bicycle. There is a potential danger for the riders and drivers if
they have to use the same roads. Furthermore, facilities could be lacking the
bicycle repairing facilities are lacking areas for in the case of emergencies when a bicycle breaks down such as repairing tools,
air pumping systems, and treatment for minor injuries etc. It would be
inconvenient for the cyclists to ride a bicycle and carry all necessary tools
with them. This could work as an obstacle for people to stop the use of bicycles. If
people feel secure to ride a bicycle and there is all the necessary items in
place along the bicycle lanes, that could encourage the citizens to ride bicycle
more.
In order to encourage people to ride more bicycles,
the local government can install more bicycle lanes around the areas to begin
with. Then, if there are more people riding in the local areas, these then this areas
can expand. Also, the government can place all the necessary services imposed
for the cyclists' convenience. In the case of Chang Mai, the government puts a
number of support services around the bicycle lanes. Those support services are
available within a certain area in the case of emergencies as well as other
necessary kits are available for all cyclists to use. Whenever the cyclists
have an issue such as getting hurt by riding a bicycle or getting a tire punk,
they can simply call up the support team for help. By doing this, people feel
more secure when they ride and feeling comfortable to see that there are
supporting services are available anytime 24/7.
In conclusion, despite all other reasons for
unpopularity of cycling activities, I believe that the insufficiency of relevant
facilities are the primarily reason that discourage people from riding a
bicycle. Therefore, by providing the relevant facilities wherever it requires for the cyclists' convenience, will encourage them to cycle more.
Score: 6.5 Comment: 질문에 대한 답은 좋다고 생각합니다. 다만 글정리를 더 해주시고 전체적으로 coherence에 조금 더 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 문장별 내용 연결성이 조금 떨어집니다. 문법상 어색함 문장구조가 일부 있습니다. 조금 더 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |