The graph shows the number of people coming from the West Indies
First of all, as can be seen seen from the chart, the number of visitors from the West Indies was particularly low at about 1,000 in 1940, but the number it increased and reached a peak of 35,000 in 1962. After the peaking, the number tourists fell sharply and fluctuated to just under 10,000, and then fluctuated. In India and Pakistan's case, the number of visitors had been rarely changed at about 8,000 for 20 years. It then rose dramatically to 28,000 in 1964. The number, however, declined slightly until the year 1968 and peaked at 32,000 in 1970.
According to the graph To conclude, the two groups >> 어떤 두 그룹이죠? of visitors rose steadily before experiencing dramatic increases around 1960s. Both groups fluctuated after experiencing sharp rises. Although the number of visitors from the West Indies were much more than the those of Indian and Pakistani people in the late 1960s, this trend reversed continuously for the rest of that period.
어휘력이 한정되어 있습니다 visitors, the number 등 충분히 다른 뜻이나 대명사로 대체할 수 있는 것들을 하나하나 언급했습니다 세 번째 단락에 two groups 가 뭘 의미하는지도 제대로 몰라서 전달력에 취약함을 드러냈구요 두 번째 단락은 비교가 아닌 단순 항목에 대한 분석 및 나열입니다
Task Achievement - 6
Coherence and Cohesion - 5
Lexical Resource - 5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 6
5.5 예상합니다