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The line chart compares 웬만해선 illustrate = give(=provide) information on/about = show 정도로 제시하는게 좋습니다 우선 그래프가 뭘 나타내는지 설명하기 위한 단락이니까요 the quantities in quadrillion units from energy consumption for six different fuels, namely petrol and oil, coal, natural gas, nuclear, solar/wind, and hydropower, of the America from 1980 to 2030.
It is clear that consumptions of fuels for five out of the six types rise, leading to a obvious rise in total spending energy.>> 오르지 않은 하나 혹은 오른 다섯개를 말씀해주셔야 합니다 (오르지 않은 하나를 말하는게 더 효율적입니다) 어떤 항목인지 모릅니다 The number of units of petrol and oil Units number of petrol and oil is the most popular thing every year throughout the given period.
In 1980, United States the consumptions of nuclear, solar/wind, and hydropower by the United States, solar/wind, and hydropower started at around 3.5 quadrillion, but petrol and oil was spent higher about 35 quadrillion ten times than them. The figures for consumptions for coal and natural gas were at least three times as much as those for the lowest things in that year. In every years, the amount of energy of using petrol and oil and coal increased gradually, while consumption of the others did not nearly change.
In the year 2030, the consumptions of petrol and oil and coal is expected to reach a peaks of at 50 and 30 quadrillion units respectively. By contrast, the gap of three types (nuclear, solar/wind, and hydropower) is predicted to remain unchanged from 2010 to 2030.
문단은 3 문단으로도 구성이 가능하겠구요 consumption 이란 단어만 계속 반복되네요 그래프를 읽을 줄 모르는 사람에게 가장 큰 차이점들만 제시한단 생각으로 하시면 됩니다 문법도 너무 비슷한 형태들로만 됐고 문장 구조도 both A and B 등의 간단한 기본 구조들의 형태들도 제시하면서 다양하게 구사하는게 좋습니다 계속 항목에 대해 (petrol and oil 등) 언급한단 자체가 잘 짜이고 묶여서 대명사로 표현하기 쉽게 작성이 되지 않고 끊어끊어 작성이 됐단걸 보여주기도 합니다
Task Achievement - 6 Coherence and Cohesion - 5 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 6
5.5 예상합니다 |