Some people think newspaper is the most effective way to get the latest information because is has more influence than other forms of media.
Do you agree or disagree?
The prevalence of state of the art technology is sure to have far-reaching effects on society. From this aspect, a contentious controversial question is raised whether the best way to transfer effectively>> 부사는 동사 뒤에서 수식하게 해주세요 the newest information effectively is managing newspaper or not. In this essay, cons>> disadvantage가 좋습니다 will be explained as follows.
The Internet induces a efficient way giving information. Considering the fact that groundbreaking technology has enhanced acquisition and >>acquisition은 여기서 쓰기엔 너무 범위가 넓고 어떤 것에 대한 소유인지 모릅니다 possessions of ranges of knowledge at a faster speed, the latest news can be found swiftly by use of online swiftly because the online has a distinguishable character that a great deal of information is updated at every counts second, even if it is a topic of overseas conversation overseas, and due to which a massive amount of the newest data including articles can be transferred>> n 과 r 이 없길래 넣어드렸습니다 to any place with variety methods. This, in turn, allows the public to enjoy the latest information with the most effective way.
Making newspaper system is more intricate than people expect. Although the publishing corporations deal with selected knowledge, there are diverse steps which trigger negative effects since the aim of the companies is handling high-quality articles as well as bearing>>drawing bear는 출산의 의미로 낳다는 뜻입니다 them to the population with the fastest and effective way. As a matter of the fact, the complex process demands a considerable time and brings about deleting a multitude of information, which arouse chronical problems that not only some major information are subtracted with unintentional mistakes but also the newspaper could be fallen behind, in terms of transmitting data effectively, in comparison with comparing to other forms of media that mainly depend on the Internet or World-Wide-Web.>> 문장이 너무 깁니다 수식은 한 두번이면 좋지만 연속해서 일어나면 오히려 이해와 흐름에 방해를 줍니다
In a nutshell, it is hard to call that newspaper is the most efficient way to meet the newest information in that the advent of the Internet based on amazing technology which includes overflowing latest information. As a result, and the newspaper's process to capture handpicked facts is too complicated to deliver them.>> 또 글이 길어져서 잘라드렸습니다
글이 너무 깁니다 적절한 길이는 한 줄~ 한 줄 반이 가장 좋습니다
조심해주시기 바랍니다
또한 갑자기 본문에서 Internet 얘기가 나온 것이 오프토픽입니다 간단하게 좋은 기술을 기반으로 한 인터넷에 밀린다고는 가능하지만 본문1부터 언급되지 않은 인터넷이 나오는 것은 맞지 않습니다
Task Achievement - 5
Coherence and Cohesion - 6
Lexical Resource - 6
Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 6
6.0 예상합니다