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The chart demonstrates how consumers in five different European countries spend on variety of goods in 2002. (여기에 goods 가 어떠한 category가 있는지 말씀해주시면 좋을거같아요)
As clearly seen from the figure, Turkey showed by far the largest consumption rates at 32.14% for food and drink (food/drinks/tobacco) category, followed by Ireland experienced a second largest expenditures at 28.91%, while . Sweden had the smallest amount of spending with the figure numbers(15.77%) which is almost halved half the percentage from that of Turkey(32.14%). The rest of nations, Spain and Italy, had a similar consumer spending rates but above its higher than Sweden at 18.80% and 16.36% respectively.
In terms of clothing and footwear, people didn't did not spend their money that as much as they did for food and drink (food/drinks/tobacco) category,.However, Italy showed the largest percentage at 9.00% amongst other countries. With the exception of Italy, the other four countries, Turkey, Spain, Ireland and Sweden, all had a small proportions of its spending just above or below 6.5% in order,. Sweden again ranked the last lowest (5.40%). On the other hand, leisure and education was where consumers spent least on, the least items (leisure과 education은 item이 아니에요) consumer spend, with the figures being less than 5%; Turkey(4.35%), Sweden(3.22%), Italy(3.20%), Ireland(2.21%), and Spain(1.98%).
According to the figure provided, majority of countries had the greatest proportion of expenditures on food, drinks and tobacco, followed by clothing and footwear; leisure and education had the lowest consumption rate percentage.
Score: 5.5 Comment: 너무 한 문장에 모든 정보를 넣을실라고 하시는거 같아요. 그렇기 때문에 문장이 너무 길어지고 흐림이 어색해지게됩니다. 문장이 너무 길어지면 그냥 끊어서 쓰시는게 더 좋을거같아요. 전체적으로 잘 하신거같은데 작은 스펠링이나 문법 실수는 조심하셔야할거같아요. |