▶ Your Answer :
In the recent years, one of the most urgent problems in the contemporary world is climate change because of over population and industrialization, affecting all spheres of human lives. Therefore, there is an ongoing heated debate whether climate change should be prevented or if we should find a way to live with it. that some endeavor to prevent climate change, but others just live with that. I completely disagree with that there is nothing to do to solve this phenomenon and will pose applicable supports. <(climate change를 prevent 할수 있는 방법이 없다/있다 가 아니라 preventing자체를 하는 것보다 그저 변화에 적응하면서 살 방법을 찻아야하는지에 대해 묻고 있는 질문입니다. 예를 들어 해결할 수 있는 방법이 있기 때문에 climate change에 적응하는 방법을 찻을 필요가 없다 라고 해주실 수 있습니다. 또한 밑에 있는 내용을 기반으로 하면 해결할 수 있는 방법이 있고 오히려 climate change에 적응을 하며 살아가면 더 serious 한 problems가 일어나기 때문에 그러면 안된다 라고 해주실수도 있습니다. )
To begin with, there are several methods to be able to prevent climate changes. As the first, on an individual level, small behaviours to do related to household can affect the part of the climate change, if hundreds of thousands of people join the behaviours. In other words, commonly, if people do not waste papers on a regular basis, in broader sights the amount of deforestation which is the main factor of climate change would reduce steadily. Another way is that, from the governmental perspective, the restriction of emission of exhaust fumes is needed. Thus, using products which emit bad gases influencing ozone layers can be limited by taxing, controlling legal permission, and educating users.
In addition, if people just adapt to climate change and live together with it, some troubles will appear. As people do not try to decrease climate problem, similar to the present, the world temperature will dramatically rise as much as we cannot help preparing for the coming future. When it comes to reaching at the peak temperature, as many researches reported, the arctic and antarctic glacier will melt and cause by making a variety of species to go extinct including humans being below the ocean <(unclear).
To recapitulate, taking these accounts, my belief emphasizes that people should prevent climate change with both personal and governmental efforts, because as I mentioned, there are severe problems will happen, if nobody cares about this issue.
Score: 6.5 Comment: 잘 서술 해주셨습니다. 다만 글 정리를 전체적으로 조금 더 해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 그 외에는 주로 글 안에 있는 수정이나 코멘트를 봐주시면 될 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |