▶ Your Answer :
There are many required skills to gain a job and to survive in modern society. This is because companies want to hire employees working with a lot of many useful skills, such as language skills, engineering skills, computer skills, and team-work skills and so on. This essay will outline some required skills and present potential reasons. To begin with, I strongly believe that foreign language skills is the most vital required skills for employees. In competitive society, the world has become globally and competitive. Therefore, many companies want to trade with foreign countries abroad, because, it leads to many chances a lot of chance to achieve more income and to develop blossom their company. This is why because, they want to hire multilingual employees. Thus, it is evident that the employees who can speak a foreign language fluently have more chances to gain a job. In addition, teamwork skills are also crucial. Many fields are needed to cooperate and collaborate with other fields to help each others to develop their abilities in the current business world. For example, scientists work with engineers and artists collaborate with engineers. Thus, they have to understand and communicate well with each others. Therefore, someone having good cooperation skills can both brighten at the atmospheres in the work field and increase productivity of the company. This is These are the reasons why companies want to hire the employees having cooperation skills. Overall, people these days are required many different skills. However, I believe that language skills and cooperation skills are the most important for the companies' development and the atmosphere of the work field ultimately. Score: 6.5 Comment: 잘 서술 해주셨습니다. 다만 글쓴이가 중요하다고 생각하는 두 가지 skills 외에 modern society에 일반적으로 필요한 skills에 대해서도 서술을 해주시면 더 좋을 것 같습니다. 문법상 표현에 조금 더 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 예를 들어 A lot of 라는 표현은 informal하기 때문에 안쓰시는게 더 좋습니다. 그 외에는 글 안에 있는 수정을 봐주시면 될 것 같습니다. 수고 하셨습니다. |