The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types Between 2000 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
Secondary School Attendance
| 2000 | 2005 | 2009 |
Specialist Schools | 12% | 11% | 10% |
Grammar Schools | 24% | 19% | 12% |
Voluntary-controlled Schools | 52% | 38% | 20% |
Community Schools | 12% | 32% | 58% |
The given table illustrates the percentage of students attending four types of secondary school in 2000, 2005, and 2009.
Overall, it seems that while the attendance percentage of the other three types of school have shown (참고로 시제의 경우 정해져있는 답이 하나만 있는 건 아니지만, 누가봐도 현재완료 혹은 미래를 써야할 경우가 아닌 이상 웬만하면 과거로 써주시는 게 좋긴 합니다.) downward trends, the share of Community Schools (여기 포함 항목들은 싹 소문자 시작입니다. 다른데에도 다 바꿔주세요~) has been increased during the given period.
Looking at the graph more closely, one can see that, the portion of students who entered the Voluntary-controlled Schools was the highest among the categories in 2000 and 2005, which were 52% and 32%. The Grammar Schools had the second largest share with 24% in 2000, but it gradually dropped to 12% in 2009. The noticeable feature is that the attendance rate of the Community Schools and the specialist school were had the lowest percentage at 12% in 2000, however, while the portion of the specialist school remained the lowest point, 58% of pupils attended the community schools in 2009, showing the largest proportion in that year. (이 마지막 문장은 최소 두 개 이상으로 끊어서 다시 작성하신 뒤에 댓글로 검사 받으세요! 문장이 길어지면 비문이 될 확률만 높아집니다.)
시간:15분
WC: 154
총평: (7/7/6/6) 6.5
글을 쓰면서 의식하셨을지는 모르시겠지만, 현재 대부분 문장들이 the ~ of ~ 구조로만 되어있어서 글이 상당히 단조롭습니다. 따라서 task 1의 경우는 특히 모범답안을 많이 보시면서 그 답안들이 어떻게 패러프레이징을 하고 있는지를 분석해주셔야 합니다. 단순히 단어만 바꾼다고 해결되는 문제가 아니라, 문장구조 자체를 쥐락펴락할 수 있도록 연습해주세요! 수고하셨습니다 :)