▶ Your Answer :
The pie charts above indicate how much an UK
school spent on their budgets in 1981, 1991 and 2001 respectively.
First of all, the annual revenues of
teacher’s salaries had taken about a half in the charts every year. Otherwise,
school staff’s salaries were kept decreasing from 1981 to 2001. Interestingly, insurance
which was the lowest part of school spending grew up step by step, in the same
periods.
To specific, in 1981, the British schools spent expenditure on consumed insurance for only 2 percent of their budgets compared to other resources
and furniture and equipment facilities both at 15%, both of them. Otherwise, teacher’s salaries took 50% in
1991, the highest percentage in this information. On the other hand, schools in
the United Kingdom spent 5% of the budget to buying new equipments and
furniture in 1991. However, the schools had had to buy more since then, as a
result the rates steeply increased to at about 23% in 2001.
To sum up, while there were no significant
changes in the chart, some parts of the budget percentages were a bit
fluctuated a bit during 20 years.
Score: 6.5 Comment: 수동태/능동태에 신경을 써주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 또한 내용 grouping을 어떻게 했는지 clear 하지 않습니다. 정리를 조금 더 해주시면 좋을 것 같습니다. 정보 grouping을 연습하시면 글 쓰시는데에 도움이 될 것 같습니다. 예를 들어 most increase/most decreased, highest percentage, lowest percentage, fluctuation, 등등이 있습니다.수고 하셨습니다.
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