▶ Your Answer : There are many various types of music in the world today. Music was the greatest invention of human being. Historically, music was used everywhere for just interest, taste and special intention such as gathering people for ceremonies so on.
Why is music needy needed for human being? First of all, there is a need for functional musics. For example, whenever special ceremony happens, music has to be used for performing ceremony. These kinds of music makes people feel formal atmosphere solemn. There is sometimes >> 조동사 be동사 뒤 일반동사 앞에 들어가는 빈도부사입니다 no doubt sometimes that functional musics do significantly work for making special formal mood. Secondly, music helps people to be relax and release stress. There are lots of people who have a hobby to listen music when they feel stress or nervous. Actually all kinds of music can give emotional consolation to people.
Furthermore, I think>> I think 보다 in my opinion 식으로 시작하는 것이 좋고 뒤에 콤마대신 that을 써주세요, international music should be common to be heard everywhere, but it should have traditional characteristics. In fact, there is no international music. If music of one country is popular, it can be international music. However, ironically, if the music does not have its own characteristic, it cannot>> 붙여써주세요 be attractive to people all over the world. To be international music, it should have not only musical quality but also special distinction. There is one obvious example of my country South Korea>> 가운데 - 빼주고 my country 빼주세요 객관적인 시선이 좋습니다. Last year, a South-Korean singer who named, whose name is PSY, was hitting hit >> 과거 진행형으론 적절치 않은 문맥입니다 all over the world including American and European countries. His music was sang by international people, even though it was written by Korean people. He had lived in America for 5 years to study how international music was made. >> 내용이 너무 이리저리 나옵니다 international music이 되기위한 특별한 조건이 정확하게 무엇이며 싸이가 히트를 친게 뭘 보여주는 것인지 명료하게 전달해주셔야 하며 뒤에 나온 한국인에 의해서 쓰였단건 한국에 대한 비판이 없는 내용에선 불필요하거나 부적절하며 미국에서 5년간 공부했다는 얘기가 갑자기 나온 것은 더욱 어색합니다
For this reason, I totally agree with the idea that international music is more important than traditional music.>> 문장 길이는 이 정도가 적당합니다 It is because the more music is loved by people, the better music can be composed and in order to be loved. Music should be composed such as international music style>> 어떤게 국제적인 스타일인지 언급하셔야합니다. In addition, traditional characteristic can give an attractive point when the music is being composed.
코멘트는 위에 달아드렸습니다 내용을 정리하셔서 차분하게 써보시길 바랍니다 그리고 결국엔 전통 음악과 국제적인 음악 중 어느 것이 더 중요한지 스스로 결정을 내리는 것에 중점이 맞춰져야 합니다
Task Achievement - 5 Coherence and Cohesion - 5 Lexical Resource - 5 Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 6
5.0 예상합니다 |