Many people attend post-secondary schools want to be undergraduates with various reasons,>> 콤마 빼주세요 and the purpose of attending colleges or universities it may vary for every individuals. However, there are some common reasons why people wants to move on to universities and colleges. I believe that and people want to take post-secondary education a university or college education in order to prepare their future careers, to have new experiences, and to increase their knowledge of themselves and the world around them>>?? increase the world ?. 지우지 않은 부분 + 주장을 써주세요
In most people’s life, preparing for their careers is one of the important tasks to do,>> 콤마 빼주시구요 마침표 찍어주세요 and most people decide to go to school where knowledges and techniques are taught by professors That is why most people decide to learn expert knowledge and techniques. Colleges and universities can function as a bridge to young adults before they get into the launch into the world society, by training them to have certain skills applied to their dream jobs.
People can also have new experiences such as doing class projects with other groups of people. Cooperation with others is another essencial ability in order to have good social life.
Students will learn how to become a part of a group and work as a team with their college mates.
Also people’s scale of knowledge will increase while they have college experiences. They will learn many things from not only classes, but also other people attending the school. The knowledge people gain over the period of four college several further-ecucation years will become a huge property for pulbic's internal growth.
There are many people enroll to post secondary schools with various reasons. However, those can be narrowed down to three major reasons: preparing their future career, sharing experience with others, and acquiring knowledges.
college 와 university는 차이가 있으니 아무데나 섞어 쓰시면 안 됩니다
college 는 보통 우리나라에서 말하는 전문대고 university가 종합대학입니다
문단은 4개로 구성해주시구요
서론 본론 부분에서 문제가 많고 뒤에 부분은 너무 짧아서 제대로 고치질 못했습니다
무조건 첫 문장에 부사 + 본인 주장 글이 들어와야 합니다
post secondary 뜻은 고등학교입니다
Task Achievement - 6
Coherence and Cohesion - 4
Lexical Resource - 5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy - 6
5.0 예상합니다